Tag: reparative therapy

Anthony Weiner No Longer Sick In The Dick, Thanks To Horse-Fondling School

Hooray, he is cured! Just kidding, he will never be cured.
Take that, Austin!

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Gardasil Prevents Cancer, So Anti-Vaxxers Figure It’s Poison

Good day to you, fair readers! It's time once again for the Snake Oil Bulletin. This week we shall be taking a gander at lady parts and diseases thereof. Oh no, you rakish rapscallions. We shant be spying any...
There's hope for you, white guys.

Make America Great Again: Reparative Therapy, But For Straight White Dudes

Since America is no longer great, according to certain dimwitted candidates for president, we are sharing ideas to Make America Great Again. Read more entries in the series here. Look, Jesus isn't going to turn your kids not-gay. Sorry, but...
Nope, sorry, doesn't work, all these dudes still like dick.

Nation Braces For Dick-Filled Sex Festival Known As ‘Ex-Gay Awareness Month’

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me. I once was gay, but now I'm into snatch OMG LOL it's my favorite just kidding EW NASTY. (Ancient "ex-gay" hymn) Hey boys, time to dismount from the strange dick you found...

The Pat Robertson-Approved 12 Steps To Not Being Gay

Celebrity demon hunter and professional old nag Pat Robertson has some ideas about what to do about the gay. Surprise: it's ex-gay rehab! On a recent edition of his teevee show "Christian Persecution Daily," Pat answered a letter from a distraught...

Aryan Bigot Twins Tell Totally Real Story About Baseball Curing Gayness

Gay-bashing bigot twins Jason and David Benham have officially become gay reparative therapists, and all it took was the magic of baseball. Taking bets in the comments on which one's the pitcher. Since their teevee show got yanked, the Übermenschen...

Texas GOP Head A Mite Besaddened Texas GOP So Full Of Dumb Bigots :(

So, you are the head of the Texas GOP. Still with me? You spend your day nodding piously along with whatever poo is dribbling from Rick Perry's mouth, and affirming whatever garbage Louie Gohmert has dreamed up in his...

‘Ex-Gay’ Group Cancels Party Because Nobody Wants To Come

There is a party in the pants of "Exodus International," and nobody wants to come! And that is why the group has canceled its upcoming "Love Won Out" convention, in which ex-gay ladies show off their human male husbands,...