Tag: press release

Orrin Hatch Steals All The Dad Puns With Medical Pot Research Bill Announcement

Orrin Hatch wants more serious research on medical uses for marijuana, and he'll toke no excuses. Also, it's your OPEN THREAD!

Betsy DeVos Lauds Segregation For Helping Blacks Set Up Excellent Colleges All For Themselves

Be glad today's the last day of Black History Month. DeVos may not say anything crazy about race for a while.

Big Bad Harley Davidson Bikers SO SCARED Of Protesters, Won’t Let Trump Look At Their Hogs

Poor Donald Trump has been given the brushoff by a big burly motorcycle factory, because it doesn't want its name associated with him.

Maine Gov. Paul LePage Will Teach Democrats Lesson By Refusing To Swear Any Of Them In

Let's say you've just won a special election for a seat in your state senate. Let's also say that although the governor of your state is from the other political party, he has already scheduled your swearing-in ceremony for...
Also Free Speach!

Donald Trump Knows First Amendment Just As Good As He Knows Mexicans

Humungous bag of weasel smegma Donald Trump is suing Univision for $500 million because it canceled its coverage of the Miss Universe pageant after his really smart (and totally accurate, he says) analysis of Mexicans, who are "bringing drugs,...
So long, farewell...

Sexting Missouri House Speaker Resigns, For Sexting, KTHXBAI!

Well, that was pretty darn quick! Just a day after his sexxytime texts with a college freshman intern became public, Republican Missouri Speaker of the House John Diehl is stepping down from both the speakership and his seat in...
Chris Christie had no comment on this screenshot

Morning Maddow: The GOP Has Vax-In-Mouth Disease

Rachel Maddow brings us Day Two of Republicans trying to figure out whether they believe in vaccinations against deadly diseases. In London, Chris Christie apparently took seriously her Monday piece about the curse of American politicians saying dumb things...

Wingnuts Find Huge Scandal To Forever End Loretta Lynch’s Attorney General Dreams

Oh, Loretta Lynch, you are going DOWN. A press release from a group calling itself "Frontiers of Freedom" has the goods on a gigantic scandal involving attorney general nominee Loretta Lynch. Or at least the 25 rightwing groups that...
We'd watch this, maybe.

Harry Reid May Never Play Guitar Again

Sen. Harry Reid broke his ribs and face during what his office is calling an unfortunate workout accident on New Year's Day: On Thursday, Senator Reid received treatment at University Medical Center in Las Vegas for injuries sustained in an...
Expert on narcissism

White House Foolishly Ignores Insights Of Fox ‘Dr.’ Keith Ablow, World’s Worst Psychiatrist

It might suck to be Keith Ablow this week. Bad enough that Ablow got dissed by the Associated Press yesterday, in a piece where writer David Bauder collected several quotes from real psychiatrists arguing that Keith Ablow is not...
Finally a place for his talents

Allen West To Head Up ‘Think’ Tank. Stop Laughing, You Guys, It’s Not Funny.

Congratulations to disgraced torturer ex-Rep. Allen West on finding a jerb! (We were going to say "honest work," but this is Allen West we're talking about, after all.) According to a big ol' press release, come Jan. 2, 2015, the former disgraced...
Just remember not to spike the poor thing in the end zone

Vital Sportsball Update: Admitted Baby-Beater Adrian Peterson Can Play Next Week Because ‘Due Process’

We have important breaking news, America! Monday just got a little bit worse! The Minnesota Vikings Foot-the-ball organisation announced this morning that it will re-activate Adrian Peterson, the running back who was deactivated (but still drew a paycheck) for...