Trump alienates allies, Ted Cruz has money problems, and FCC is REALLY trying to screw with you. Your morning news brief.
XXX poll porn coming at YOUR FACE.
You know what really Conquered The World? SINGLE PAYER.
Patriots in the White House, Jesus doesn't love horndog gov Robert Bentley, and Rexxon is full steam ahead. Your morning news brief!
As they said in Plan Nine From Outer Space: There's been a protest. And SOMEBODY'S responsible!
Ivanka was very sad about the itty bitty babies and Eric says this proves Trump has no bad connections with Russia. We don't believe them for some weird reason.
WHERE THE MEN AT?
It's just like 2009 all over again, except in Bizarro-World. Goodbye!
Trump's new approval rating? 39 PERCENT! LOLOLOLOL!
Donald Trump had a press conference, and it was definitely a thing.
On the bright side, only 7% of the country thinks we should invade Mexico.
Who would you most like to take a long walk on the beach with?
Dear sane people: RELAX. And VOTE. Are you relaxing, and also voting? Do that right now!
President Obama is pretty sure Donald Trump doesn't have what it takes to live in the White House.
Donald Trump blames everybody but himself for how he's losing like such a sad, weak loser right now.