Tag: polls

Jeff Sessions Can’t Pee Test Everyone In D.C. Your Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 20, 2017

Patriots in the White House, Jesus doesn't love horndog gov Robert Bentley, and Rexxon is full steam ahead. Your morning news brief!

Donald Trump Awfully Pissy About Those Tax Day Protests. GOOD JOB TAX DAY PROTESTERS!

As they said in Plan Nine From Outer Space: There's been a protest. And SOMEBODY'S responsible!

Idiot Trump Kids Have Big League Thoughts About Bombing Syria, So Yooge And Tremendous

Ivanka was very sad about the itty bitty babies and Eric says this proves Trump has no bad connections with Russia. We don't believe them for some weird reason.

Everybody #Resisting Donald Trump Is Such A Lady!

WHERE THE MEN AT?

Rep. Explains We Have To Pass Obamacare Repeal To See What’s In It. Deja Vu All Over Again!

It's just like 2009 all over again, except in Bizarro-World. Goodbye!

Trump Makes HISTORY! With Lowest New President Approval Rating OF ALL TIME!

Trump's new approval rating? 39 PERCENT! LOLOLOLOL!

Kinder, Gentler, Definitely Sane Trump Holds Press Conference To Tell Press To Fuck Right Off

Donald Trump had a press conference, and it was definitely a thing.

Poll: Trump Supporters Simply Can’t Wait To Celebrate White History Month!

On the bright side, only 7% of the country thinks we should invade Mexico.

World’s Hottest California Attorney Generals Face Off In Wonkette Sexxxiness Contest

Who would you most like to take a long walk on the beach with?

Early Voters (Of The Mexican Type) May Have Already Saved America From Spray-Tan Hitler!

Dear sane people: RELAX. And VOTE. Are you relaxing, and also voting? Do that right now!

Barack Obama Tells Donald Trump To Stop Being Such A Pussy About The Election

President Obama is pretty sure Donald Trump doesn't have what it takes to live in the White House.
He gets cranky when he has the sniffles

Loser Donald Trump Can’t Stop Crying Over What A Big Loser He Is

Donald Trump blames everybody but himself for how he's losing like such a sad, weak loser right now.

Trump Idiots: Really, Is ‘Grabbing Them By The Pussy’ Even *Wrong*?

Sen. Jeff Sessions can't figure out if it's sexual assault, and Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway is all PFFFFFT EVERYBODY DOES IT.

Fox News’s Jesse Watters Can’t Stop LOLing Over How Weird Chinese People Are

Is this the most racist thing Jesse Watters has ever done? MAYBE!
You can always count on some dope to misspell exactly what you need

Donald Trump Very Angry Google’s Hiding All The Bad News About Hillary Clinton

Donald Trump knows the truth about Google: It's out to get him, just like everyone else.