Tag: paul ryan

GOP Will Help Obama Get Rid Of ‘Food Stamp President’ Label By Getting Rid Of Food Stamps, Helpfully

Isn't it amazing when all Americans can come together as one to ax food stamps, child tax credits, and Medicaid? YES WE CAN'T! There is something nipping at our brainal lobes from the lost fogs of ... last year...

Conservatives Wonder: If Obama Hates Paul Ryan’s Plan So Much, Why Can’t We Feed Park Animals?

There is a fantastic new, although possibly old, line of argumentation gaining traction among the more blowhardy blow-hards on the rightward end of the political spectrum: park animals: why won't President Obama repeal the laws that forbid people from...

Allen West Will Fake-Execute You If You Question His Devotion To Ryan Budget

Oh, good heavens, what has powerful nutball Allen West gotten himself into today? Something insane? Something creepy, perhaps? ALL OF THEM. Representative West, an actual elected official with hands on the levers of government, loves fellow representative Paul Ryan's...

It’s The Trailer For Paul Ryan’s New Movie, ‘Paul Ryan’s FY2013 Budget’

Well howdy doo, that nice Boy Scout from down the street who's offered to fix America's finances, Rep. Paul Ryan, is releasing the sequel to last year's Path to Prosperity next week. The last one was... ehh... don't take...

Congressman Realizes He Can Just Shoot People Who Get In His Way

How will the Republicans ever pass that nice young boy scout Paul Ryan's budget and finish ruining the country? Unless Republicans can put together a simultaneous presidency, House majority, and 60-vote Senate majority, it's unlikely that our government will...

Paul Ryan Arrests Every Human Who Asks Him Questions He Does Not Like

Corporate wart Paul Ryan had town hall attendees arrested after they interrupted him during his speech to ask questions about why he is trying to murder Medicare, old people, sunshine, etc. Uh, because those things are fun if you...

Paul Ryan Charging Town Hall Attendees $15 To Yell At Him

Corporate rentboy Paul Ryan has a "neat market solution" for making sure that his constituents leave him the hell alone next time he wants to preach to a town hall crowd about his fever dreams for destroying Social Security...

Rich GOP Entertainer Urges Seniors To Accept Destruction of Medicare

About 55 years ago, American kids who weren't allowed to buy "race records" by the likes of Chuck Berry or Fats Domino were helpfully directed by white shopkeepers to safe, white versions of the popular songs by a very...

Dick Cheney Confirms That Paul Ryan Is Satan

Here is what Dick Cheney said, in public, about GOP Medicare Murderer Paul Ryan: "I worship the ground that Paul Ryan walks on." There, done, confirmed: Paul Ryan is not just a creepy looking errand boy for the Koch...

Mitt Romney Angry Obama Pushed His Best Friend Israel On the Ground

Uh oh! Yesterday, when Mitt Romney wasn't around to protect the defenseless Zionist nation, world bully Barack Obama beat it to a bloody pulp, saying in a speech that an Israel-Palestine peace deal should start with restoring the borders...

Iowan Corners Whiny Newt Gingrich

This Iowan stole Newt Gingrich's hand and wouldn't give it back until the adulterer said he was sorry. We're not sure if the whiny "I didn't do anything to Paul Ryan!" or the smile stuck on Newt's shiny-headed wife's...

Thanks, Paul Ryan, For Reminding Voters GOP Wants To Kill Medicare & Social Security!

We've been too busy celebrating Pagan Earth Day with a bunch of wiccans and gay wizards, at Hogwarts, to notice the new consensus about nervous GOP weirdo Paul Ryan: He apparently finished off the entire "tea party movement" the...

Republican Fantasyland: No Actual Medicare, Tax Cuts For Millionaires

What do Republicans in Congress dream about, after they get bored of Cialisbating to ROTC videos? Lowering taxes even more for the very richest people in America while doubling the cost of medical care for senior citizens. That's what...

President Caught On ‘Hot Mic’ Saying Things He Should Just Say In Public

UH OH! President Obama had his first fundraiser of the season in Chicago last night, and after his remarks, a microphone that was left on caught the socialist conversing candidly with donors. What did he say? He made fun...

Paul Ryan Plans To Ruin Medicare and Medicaid, Sneak In Tax Cuts For Rich

What has Congress been up to these days? We didn't fire them, right? Yes, it would appear they still have jobs, and that job is continually "avoiding shutdown" because voters dividing power between the two very polarized parties these...

GOP: Cut Basic Human Services, Increase Funding For Pentagon

Washington's decadent spending spree is over, motherfuckers! There's a new House Budget Committee Chairman in town, and his name is Paul Ryan. Maybe you've heard of him before, since he is the world's most famous money-saving wizard? (When cleaning...