Tag: olympics

Sad Brazil fan is sad.

Sportsball Year In Review: It Was Mostly Awful!

Sports! Oh man, sports, aren't they great? Shut up, they are too. Here now is your 2014 Wonkette Sportsball Year In Review, because why not? Off-field Hits Plague NFL Sorry to break this to you, Wonketeers, but the NFL remains the...

Rihanna’s Boobs Lift Us Up Where We Belong

What has HappyNiceTimePeople's new editor-in-chief, Sara Benincasa (THAT'S ME!), been doing over there at our sister site? Oh, you know, stuff. We chilled you out with a totally chill British lady doing mind wizarding or whatever. We creeped you out with...

Pop Music Nice Time: Austrian Drag Queen Wins Eurovision, Will Probably Make Russia Gay

Do you know what Eurovision is? Haha, you do not, because you are (likely) A American and interested in patriotic things like steaks and apple pies and baseball and cowboys and guns and American Idol and The Voice, also,...

The Daily Show Goes To Moscow. Just Like A Commie.

For the Winter Olympics, The Daily Show sent Jason Jones to Moscow, which is no longer the USSR but is now like America "with a fucked up alphabet." Best moment of the Cold War Nostalgia groove: Mikhial Gorbachev, unaccountably...

Stupidest Guest Blogger On Internet Catches Wonkette’s Unspeakable Hypocrisy On Stoner Obama Story

Well, dear readers, we have been BURNT! As Gateway Pundit guest blogger Kristinn Taylor reveals, Yr Wonkette ran a story Saturday noting that B. Barry Bamz looked a little worse for the wear in his Olympics interview with Bob...

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special All Olympics All The Time Edition

Maybe you missed that there's a sporting competition/clash of nations going on, so the NYT will make sure you have one million Olympics words to read. You think you don't need to read those words because you already saw...

Manly Vladimir Putin Cuddles Tigers Into Submission Like A Strongman Should

Don't you wish that Obama wasn't such a 98-pound weakling that just gets sand kicked in his face by Fox News on the regular? Wouldn't it be great to have a muscular bare-chested white man like Vladimir Putin, who...

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Everyone Just Pipe Down Edition

Happy Super Sportsball Sunday! Go read the Times's one million pages of regular sports coverage AND thinkpieces about the Super Bowl! Or don't. Go read about Chris Christie! Or just read what we wrote about Christie already. Definitely read...

A Slightly More Sober Discussion Of President Obama’s State Of The Union Awesomeness

Gentlemen, did you wake up this morning with a little extra pep in your Mr. Peepers? We sure did, because WE FINALLY GOT OUR PRESIDENT BACK! It’s like that awesome hopey and changey guy from 2008 snuck back out...

Mayor Of Sochi Is Quite Certain He Does Not Have Anyone Gaying Up His Town Yet

Getting hyped for the Olympics? Of course you are! Hoping you can just watch luge or curling or the biathlon or whatever strikes your fantasy without having to worry about Russia's depressingly backwards thoughts and feels about the gays?...

Pat Buchanan: When Will The Gays Stop Oppressing Putin?

Are you mad at Russia for doing this whole "arrest anybody who might like gay people" thing? Well then Pat Buchanan is mad at you. Probably. We can't really tell, but he wrote some kind of opinion piece about...

How Is Obama Secretly Gaying Today?

Everyone knows Barack Obama is probably secretly a gay homosexual gay. It's just so obvious, isn't it, what with his, like, probably gayness? He sure sets off Fox "News" mouth-breather and Brooklyn food co-op enthusiast Todd Starnes's gaydar (which, um,...

Liveblogging Tampa Wednesday: Rand Paul Ryan Rubio Olympians?

I would like to welcome you all to my first ever Wonkette liveblog of anything ever except for those three years that I was secretly running the entire site but pretending I was white people! ARE YOU READY TO HEAR...

Turk Says Olympics Turning Ladies To Men, Freepers Torn Between Anti-Feminism And Anti-Turkishness

It is a tradition as old as the Olympics itself: Some idiot notices that muscular women and muscular men, being actual members of the same actual species, look somewhat similar to each other, and declares that sports have brought...

Rafalca’s Magical Olympics, Day One: Rafalca Losing To Some Dancing Horses, Beating Others

Your Wonkette knows that it is not allowed to make any lighthearted jokes about the rich presidential candidate and his wife who own a dancing horse that is competing in the Olympics. Americans have no history of making jokes...

Wingnuts Outraged Over Socialist Marxist Hippie-Dippy Multi-Culti Antiwar Olympics Love-In

Which part of the Olympic Opening Ceremonies did you like best? Was it the plutocrats murdering the workers in the Industrial Revolution, or the pagans calling forth their gods with sacrificial virgins and maypoles? Was it the reference to...