Tag: muslins

Tennessee Republicans Solve Pressing Problem Of Muslim No-Go Zones. In Tennessee.

A Tennessee representative has introduced a bill to outlaw those Muslimy "no-go zones," which you may remember are not actually real. Of course that doesn't much matter, because never let reality get in the way of a good dog whistle. The...

Fun RenewAmerica Lady Will Roundhouse Kick You Until You Agree With Her About Obama

We don't think we've yet had the pleasure of writing about Dr. Laurie Roth, one of RenewAmerica's finest scribes. Dr. Roth is pretty sure that Barack Obama has been genetically engineered since birth to take over 'Merica for the...

Hot Adonis House-Flipping Twins Sent To FEMA Camp For Loving Jesus Too Much

Do you watch HGTV and all those house-lust shows? Property Brothers, House Hunters, Flip It Fancy? We might have made that last one up. Anyway, there will be one less house show on in the fall, because apparently America...

Apparently There Is No Shortage Of Dicks To Be Eaten, Tea Party Nation Edition

Still obsessing about what happened in Boston? Still feeling like you just want to sit home with your family/ friends/ dogs/ cats/ kids/ whatever and tell them all that you love them desperately? Naw. That's for pussies and liberals....

Hey Girl, Boy-Banders One Direction Gonna Make You Muslin All Night Long

Insane nutbag Debbie Schlussel, whose twitter bio reads like a mad libs experiment gone awry (she's a movie critic AND a cultural observer AND a writer AND a journalist AND a terrorism expert. SUCK ON THAT LIBTARDS), has expanded...

NRO Hires Racisty Racist It Can Dig Up, For Racism

It seems like just two months ago that the august and erudite National Review Online was having to face its terrible shame and can all its writers for being bald horrible racists. And yet their newest fellow likes to...

OMG, Michigan, Can You Stop Being Awful For Like Five Seconds?

Between the gay-hating paranoid that is the mayor of Troy, the vagina-hating legislature banning the word vagina (but not cunt), and this guy, Michigan has very clearly spent this past week trying to make Mississippi look tolerant and Arizona...

‘Pretend It’s Obama’ Suggests Hilarious Lady As Rick Santorum Shoots at Target

Here is the funniest joke you will ever hear, falling from the nicotine-stained teeth of a southern belle: "Pretend it's Obama!" It's funny, you see, because Rick Santorum is shooting a gun! As her friends laugh and laugh at...

3 Million Americans Apparently Believe Mitt Romney Is Muslim

An audience of 3 million is enough to keep a terrible show on television for many years or encourage a horror writer to publish literally anything he types, including fever dreams about his own mustache, and it's also how...

Feds End Their ‘Watch On Muslin Men,’ Newspaper Reports

Wonkette operative "Paul G." sends in this rewritten AP article printed in the St. Petersburg Times. Look, the death of bin Laden actually resulted in a slight restoration of civil liberties! But we're still going to call them "Muslin."...

Muslim-Hating Wingnut (Not Palin) Shoots His Own Car For Some Reason

Rat-faced hillbilly "Pastor Terry Jones" still exists, for some reason. (Weren't we supposed to drop him from a Predator onto a pile of rocks in Afghanistan, so that one of his stray limbs would kill a child or a...

Newt Gingrich Loves ‘Historian’ Who Says Jesus Opposed Minimum Wage

It's nut-pickin' time in Iowa! That's why Newt Gingrich -- a man so amoral and crooked that he has to be screwed into his albino-rat wig each morning -- is buddying up with the best wingnuts Texas has to...

Jesus-Loving Barber Will Be Nice To Muslims ‘Even Tho They Wrong’

What are America's small business people doing with all their spare time from not having any business, because of the Great Recession? Some are continuing to put up letterboard messages about their opinions regarding different things, such as The Muslims....

Today In 9/11: Inbreeding Muslins, Sharia-ing Supermodels, and Jack El-Kerouaqis

It's September 11 Eve, everybody! Have you figured out how you're going to honor tomorrow yet? Maybe you will listen to Lee Greenwood and meditate on where you were when 9/11 was born, in a manger (your Lauri was...

‘Ground Zero Church’ Leader Is Against Muslins AND Mormons

Welcome to another edition of Burn Yer Queeran -- our first since the beginning of Fashion Ramadan, when everybody is forbidden to wear white shoes until the imam proclaims it to be spring again. Today's post is brought to...

‘On It Like a Muslin In a Mosque Woop’

With anti-muslin hatred spreading like thunderous bedbugs across our great nation, Burn Yer Queeran could become a daily feature! Indeed, accessorizing one's criminal record with a hate-crime conviction is shaping to be the hottest fall fashion trend in America....