Tag: massacre

An homage to B. Kliban's "The Birth of Advertising"

Chuck C. Johnson Has Thoughts On The Charleston Shootings. They Are Strange And Racist Thoughts.

Since Award-Winning Journalist Chuck C. Johnson got bounced off Twitter a while back, seemingly for good, the man seems to be completely losing it. This of course raises the perfectly reasonable question, "How could you tell?" As Exhibit A,...
This would fix everything

Fox News: Gun-Free Zones Committed That Hate Crime In Charleston

That was fast! It only took a few hours for Fox to toss up an editorial explaining that the best explanation of why six women and three men were shot to death in their church Wednesday night is that nobody...

Morning Maddow: Who Is This Charlie Hebdo Guy Anyway? (Video)

Wednesday's Rachel Maddow Show was, understandably, all about the Paris massacre. This segment is a brief look back at the history of the French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo and its penchant for tweaking the powerful and the self-important, which is...

Blackwater Employee In Iraq’s Foolproof Job Security Plan: Threaten To Kill People Who Wanted To Fire Him

The mercenaries of Blackwater are truly the gift that keeps on giving. Why, they couldn’t stop giving bullets to a bunch of poor Iraqi civilians back in 2007, to mention just one of many, many, many incidents, and a...

Why Is Michelle Obama Visiting Bin Laden’s Son In The Hospital After He Did The Boston Bombings?

So it turns out, via tipster "Michael," who would like Wonket to investigate before we get 9/11ed again, that the SAUDI NATIONAL (who has already been cleared of the Boston Bombings but only because the FBI IS IN ON...

Looks Like Glenn Beck Has At Least Four Listeners In The House Who Want To Know About Saudi ‘Bomber’

As the world waits on its tenterhooks -- which are surprisingly comfortable, and shaped liked a sofa -- for Glenn Beck to release his DAMNING EVIDENCE about the US government coverup of the SAUDI NATIONAL who has already been...

Tamerlan Tsarnaev Came To The U.S. In His Teens: Is That Why He Was Such A Jerk?

None of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's friends could believe the "sweet" young man would try to murder a city. (This angered John Podhoretz, who was VERY MAD that people would say nice things about an "alleged" hahajustkiddinghetotallydidit terrorist, as if there...

Hey, Let’s Have Some Nice Time: 78-Year-Old Marathon Man Is The Best Of All Possible Marathon Men

So what'd you guys do this week? Our week was pretty quiet, just another typical nice April week. Oh who are we kidding, we can't even think of a joke to go with that. ANYWAY, let us have some...

Family Research Council Knows Who Is To Blame For Boston Bombing: Sluts And Abortionists

The Family Research Council has taken some time off from hating fags to reaffirm its man-on-gun love. The fine fellows behind it would like to point out that gun control would not have stopped the Boston bombing. (It might...

Glenn Beck Ready For Impeachment Already, Because Of Saudi Bomber Cover-Up, What?

Glenn Beck is still convinced -- as of this morning -- that the SAUDI NATIONAL (who's already been cleared) he fingered earlier this week is up to his Saudi ears in the Boston bombings, along with those nice Chechen...

FBI Presser: Help Your Wonket Racially Profile The Boston Massacre Suspects

Blah blah blah "innocent until proven guilty," and also "Richard Jewell" and ALSO also "that Anthrax mailer guy who wasn't or something?" Let us assume -- with the proper caveat -- that the FBI is correct and has found...

Glenn Beck: The Only Logical Response To Boston Marathon Bombing Is To Make Glenn Beck Wealthier

We don’t yet know who is responsible for the horrific bombings in Boston yesterday, but we do know they are a sign of society’s imminent collapse, and that those unprepared for our post-apocalyptic future are destined to die alone...

You Will Want To Read This Gawker Story About The Sexy Man In The Hat

You go on ahead. We'll wait.

Is Bill O’Reilly A Terrorist? We Are Just Asking Questions

Bill O'Reilly is mad at President Barack Saddam Hussein for calling the Boston Massacre "a tragedy." Therefore, ergo, ipso facto and Math Science of Words, Bill O'Reilly thinks it was the opposite of a tragedy. Therefore, ergo, ipso facto...

Hey, Has Anybody Else Been As Stupid As This Guy Yet?

The unseen fellow asking Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick whether the Boston Massacre was a "false flag" operation so TSA agents can "put their hands down pants" is apparently Dan Bidondi, a "correspondent" for Alex Jones's Infowars. Bully for...

Arizona Tea Party Wants To Recall Tucson Sheriff

Arizona's horrible old white people have responded in exactly the way you'd imagine to the Tucson Massacre that took the lives of six people -- including a federal judge and a little girl -- and gravely injured Congresswoman Gabrielle...