Tag: marijuana legalization

Jeff Sessions Is Making Reefer Madness Great Again

Drugs are bad! Mmmmmkay?

Wonkagenda: Tuesday, October 25, 2016

You have GOT to see these allegedly super crooked Trump PAC douchebags. They're *perfect*. Plus more in your Morning News Brief!

First You Get The Sugar, Then You Get The Lobbyists, Then You Get The Cover-Ups

And you thought the tobacco industry had a monopoly on dirty tricks like this!
The senator and the trivia question answer.

You Got Your Seattle Drinky Thing In My Senate Sunday! Two Great Tastes, Etc., Etc

They probably won't be up past midnight counting the U.S. Senate ballots in Washington, is what we're saying.

Maryland Rep Opposes DC Statehood Because Of All These Facts He Just Made Up

You know what would be a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad thing for the country? If Washington DC, the only part of the continental United States that currently gets no actual say in the legislative branch of government, got full...
Pinhead

Bill O’Reilly Wants To Keep Pot Illegal For The Sake Of The Blacks And The Children

Giant forehead Bill O’Reilly got very upset with The New York Times this week because the Grey Lady’s editorial board decided to take a sane and rational position in favor of marijuana legalization. This upset old Loofah Bill because...

Total Narc, California Governor, Jerry Brown Harshing All Our Mellow

We don't know what the fuck happened to our old "cool" governor, Jerry Brown. First he is not even dating Linda Ronstadt anymore, so strike one. And then he was all "grrrrr, I am a grumpy senior citizen, 'fiscally...

Satire Claims Another Victim: Police Chief Cites Fake News Story As Proof That Weed Kills

Bargain-rack Onion imitator The Daily Currant found its way into testimony given to the Maryland Senate Tuesday by Annapolis Police Chief Michael Pristoop, who solemnly informed a Senate panel of the disaster that lies in wait for any state...

Rob Ford Briefly Calls For Pot Legalization, Walks It Back, Trips Over End Table, Falls Asleep On Floor

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford called on Canada's government to decriminalize marijuana Thursday, but later said nah, nevermind, forget it, bad idea you know, he must have been totally wasted to have suggested anything of the sort, and are you...

Washington Times Writer Fears The Devil’s Weed, The Ring-A-Ding-Ding, That Commie FDR

Baboon panniculus Emily Miller of the Washington Times must have been super-jealous that Yr Wonkette already judged S.E. Cupp author of the dumbest column of 2014, because here she is already trying to get us to reconsider. To which...

S.E. Cupp Writes Stupidest Possible Column On Pot

Wow, Gary was right! Leggy Fox News CNN Idiot S.E. Cupp truly has taken the lead for the dumbest column of 2014, and it's going to take some massive expenditures of PunditDerp to surpass her thought-like statements about marijuana....

Your Daily Show/Colbert Report Clickbait Is Here! Jon Stewart Talks Pot, And Stephen Colbert Tackles Climate Change

The Daily Show Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook Good morning! In a thoroughly shameless effort to direct eyeballs our way, we are pleased to bring you these important social commentaries from America's most astute observers...

Congress Trying Pot Again

In big fat "can we just got on with this now" marijuana news, members of Congress introduced a bill this week to legalize pot on the federal level, and tax and regulate it like alcohol. Congressmen Jared Polis (D-Rocky...

Senator Patrick Leahy Wants to Know When We Can Smoke Our Government Pots Already

If B. Barry Bamz wanted to continue sitting back indefinitely, pretending to be "cool with the youngs" while locking probably at least half of them up in jail for drugs, he's in for a rude surprise from Senator Patrick...

Pot Legalization Initiative Winning Stupid White House Petition Website

America's potheads are (ironically?) the only citizens motivated enough to go to the White House's gimmicky, half-assed new "We the People" petitions website and type up their solemn demands for the President to let the harmless weed-lovers live in...

Ron Paul Starts ‘R3VOLUTION’ With Marijuana Legalization Bill

To the delight of microwaveable snack industry executives nationwide, sex god Ron Paul and other sex god Barney Frank are introducing the nation's first "HOW ABOUT WE FINALLY LEGALIZE THE MARY-JUANA" bill, which, eh, probably has no chance, but...