Tag: major endorsements

Rick Santorum Scores Lock On Christian Death Metal Fan Contingent

Are you an erstwhile Satanist who is so deeply and irredeemably lame that you managed to get kicked out of Metallica? That would make you Dave Mustaine, the used-up nuthatch in charge of forgotten heavy metal outfit Megadeth. He...

Michelle Obama’s ‘Let’s Move!’ Receives Critical Endorsement From Fat Joe

"Why hello, 2004, we had almost (thankfully) forgotten about you," was our first reaction to the news that Michelle Obama's anti-obesity campaign has a new "celebrity" champion in Joseph Antonio "Fat Joe" Cartagena, who at one point made a...

Sarah Palin Tries To Make Maryland Gubernatorial Election Interesting

Sarah Palin knows that one of the things that makes modern America great is that we don't abide losers, especially when it comes to politics. Once you've lost, you should just get the hell out and go home,...

Daddy Yankee Secretly Pretended To Endorse Obama First

It was confusing when Hispanic rapper guy Daddy Yankee endorsed John McCain in person the other day, because who is Daddy Yankee? Also, he makes songs about semen, and they are John McCain's favorite songs along with "Dancing Queen."...

BUSH JR. ENDORSEMENT GETS WEIRD

Paris Hilton Ends Bid For Presidency!