Tag: lobbyists

Mr. Hitler Goes To Washington

Republicans’ psycho cousin The American Nazi Party (ANP) registered its first lobbyist this week. They grow up so fast! It seems like just yesterday they were destroying the world! John Bowles, das lobbyist, registered Tuesday with House and...

Mitt Romney’s Modest ‘Manse’ Now Has a Car Elevator, Lobbyist

Mitt Romney's small cottage in La Jolla is in the process of renovation, and the aggrandizing of this piece of real estate is such an important issue for the future of this nation that there is actually a guy...

Lobbyists Try to Weasel Around New DNC Rules Ahead of Convention

The Democratic National Committee last year enforced rules that are attempting make it harder for lobbyists to peddle their interests at this summer's convention in Charlotte, NC, but the reality is, as long as there are laws, there are...

Nancy Pelosi Shamelessly Tries To Cash In On Occupy Wall Street

The Democratic Party is still not entirely sure what to do with this "Occupy Wall Street" stuff beyond allowing for a few cautious statements from one or another "liberal" member of Congress let out of the pen for a...

Former Goldman VP Got Sexy Name Change Before Getting Job in Congress

The weird mutants staffing Darrell Issa's House Oversight Committee are for once being documented mutants: Issa staffer Peter Haller, who mostly scribbles furious letters to government regulators demanding they quit harassing Goldman Sachs with horrible strict rules like, "at least...

Scott Walker Demotes Donor’s DUI Son To Other Position He’s Unqualified For

When it comes to government workers, Scott Walker knows how to hire them. If they agitate about "benefits" and "collective bargaining," they're lazy and want to inflict any pain they can on the taxpayers of Wisconsin, and Scott Walker...

Scott Walker Pays $81.5K Gov’t Salary to Drunk-Driving Loser Son of Crony

When your corporation needs to take care of some troublesome "environmental and regulatory matters" in Wisconsin, heh heh, just go see the dumb kid who never graduated college but did manage two DUI convictions, because that dumb kid is...

Haley Barbour To Win Presidency By Bragging About Being Lobbyist

Look, the Republican presidential field doesn't seem like it's going to be finding any good candidates any time soon. So, yes, Tim Pawlenty will have to run. And, oh God, Haley Barbour? Yes, Haley Barbour. "'The president of the...

Louisiana: Wikipedia Pages Prank; Lobbyist: Wonkette Has No Ethics

Tuesday, while your Wonkette was working to bring the world "important" hilarious news about the pathetic Sarah Palin "Lou Sarah" account, we also threw up an account of somebody visiting the Louisiana Capitol building and finding a statue of...

White House Press Secretary: It’s ‘Routine’ For White House To Meet With Lobbyists

Yesterday, a great way to start the new job: The White House meets with all kinds of people all the time! It probably meets with David Koch impersonators! You can probably even walk in there with your dick hanging out...

Yeah, Clarence Thomas’ Wife Is a Lobbyist

Ginni Thomas may have been forced to resign her duties as Washington Teabag Queen because she was drunk-dialing Anita Hill all the time, but that doesn't mean she can't make a living! (Clarence Thomas doesn't report her living on...

NATIONAL ENQUIRER SHOCKER: Enquirer Thinks Boehner Is ‘Handsome’

Someone is still trying to create a John Boehner affair rumor. This began in September, you will remember, when the New York Post cited some DailyKos person saying such a rumor existed as evidence that such a rumor existed....

Jack Abramoff No Longer Working At Zionist Pizza Joint

Jack Abramoff has finished his six-month stint working at Tov Pizza, "a modest kosher pizzeria in a heavily Jewish section of northwest Baltimore" -- a job he held down while living in a halfway house following his stint in...

Washington Post Blows All Its John Boehner Boner Puns In One Profile

The Post ran a profile piece about John Boehner today, because pretty soon he will be third in line to the presidency. That would be fine, but they totally wasted all their good boner puns before he even became...

Jack Abramoff Will Friend You On Facebook

First your grandparents joined it. Now this guy. That place is horrible. Abramoff lists three "likes and interests," one being himself, "Jack Abramoff." The other two are "Zvi Gluck and Jewish Community Hero," a fan page for a Queens, N.Y.,...

Rumor Thing Accuses John Boehner of Boning Lobbyist

It appears that a rumor about John Boehner having an affair with a lobbyist is forming out of thin air after some Daily Kos guy said it was a rumor, so now it is a rumor. The New York...