Tag: liberty

Ritchie Mack, he's a sheriff down in 'Zona...

Wingnut Plan To Turn Arizona County Into New Somalia Still On Track. Good Luck With That!

More straight out delusion from our pals in the "Constitutional Sheriff" community, who still want to get themselves elected into power in Navajo County, Arizona, and then tell the Federal Government to bugger off, just as the Constitution demands...
Freedom's just another word salad for nothing left to say

Deleted Comments: Don’t You Backwardass Imbreds Understand Liberty At All?

It took a while, but we finally started hearing from the Ammon Bundy Freedom-N-Liberty-N-Armed Insurrection Fan Club, and they are every bit as nice as you'd expect! Consider this thoughtful critique of our coverage, from "TonyinMO," who took issue...
Now fit for official correspondence

Hooray, You Can Write Cusses On Your Traffic Tickets, America F*ck Yeah!

In a victory for the aggrieved and ill-tempered among us, a Connecticut man has prevailed against the prissy shitheads in a New York town who jailed him and charged him under an unconstitutional law because he wrote BAD WORDS...
Sawed-off shotguns: They're in the Constitution!

Here’s How The Second Amendment Has Prevented Tyranny Lately

While we know guns had nothing to do with the tragedy today that took the lives of Virginia TV station WDBJ reporter Alison Parker and cameraman Adam Ward, in addition to the suicide of the shooter, a disgruntled former...
She was an active member of the Christian Motorcycle Association.

Wingnut Lady Shoots Self Dead While Adjusting Boob-Gun

A minor official in the Michigan Republican Party who was found dead on New Year's Day apparently did not take her own life. Instead, new information released Wednesday indicates that Christina Bond died while adjusting a gun in a...

Rick Santorum Hates Americans For Our Erotic Freedoms

All the probable Republican presidential candidates have been visiting the Steve Deace radio wingnut program lately, in order to explain to Real Americans that people's fundamentalist religious beliefs will ALWAYS stomp on everybody else's rights, no matter what, because...
It was this or a photo of Rand Paul, and we love you too much to do that

Rand Paul Torn Between Libertarian Principles And OMG EBOLAZ!!!!!1

Sen. Rand Paul MD is trying to decide where he stands on the important issue of putting healthcare workers in quarantine regardless of whether they have Ebola symptoms or not. (Remember kids, that's the only time people are infectious: after they're...

Texas Gay National Guard Members Get The Shaft, But Not In Good Way

You know that drunk uncle who arrives at your Thanksgiving meals to complain about how the messicans and my-NOR-AH-ties and homosessuals are ruining America, which was founded by White Manly Jesus on White Christian Values? If that uncle were...

Phyllis Schlafly Has Had It With People Thinking Statue Of Liberty Welcomes Immigrants

Phyllis Schlafly, the Queen Mum of rightwing hate, is getting pretty tired of the poor and the huddled masses yearning to breathe free. So yesterday, she tossed a tempest; in a radio commentary, she insisted that the Statue of...

Hero Teen Adds Lord’s Prayer To His Graduation Speech, Saves America

Well, thank heavens, we finally have some balance in this crazy old world! After all these stories about transgender prom queens and adorable sodomite "cutest couples," our long national nightmare of progressive nice-time is finally over. In protest of a...

Minnesota Radio Host Has Best-Ever Apology For Telling Newtown Parents To ‘Go To Hell’

This week, Minnesota radio host Bob Davis, of Davis & Emmer, delivered a master class in victimology: the parents whose children were murdered in Newtown were victimizing Bob Davis by ... well, we are not sure. Asking for universal...

Live, Work And Play In New Development For You And All Your Idaho Militia Friends!

Any second now there will be zombies and tidal waves and brown people climbing up on your roof and eating your virgin daughter's brains. What should you do? Where should you go? Why not live out these trying times...

PJ O’Rourke Is America’s Greatest Political Humorist

Here’s a fun fact to start out your day: PJ O’Rourke is “America’s leading political satirist.” It must be true because it says so on the website of the Cato Institute, where P.J O'Rourke is the H.L. Mencken...

Stand Your Ground Totally Not Adversely Affecting Black People

Good news everyone! Well, good news and bad news — a mixed bag of news. First, we bring you the bad news: turns out, Florida’s Stand Your Ground law has allowed drug dealers, gang members, killers, animal abusers, and...

America’s Sexiest New Website: The Daily TSA Patdown

Do you love to watch hot dudes -- like, all sweaty and fat and flustered -- with their latex-gloved hands groping random old people? Then Santa will be bringing you hot loads of multiple orgasms in the form of...

Charles Krauthammer Declares a Race War

RACE WAR EVERYBODY! RACE WAR! STEP AWAY FROM YOUR COMPUTERS, GO OUTSIDE, AND SORT YOURSELF OUT BY RACE, because Charles Krauthammer says that's what's going on. Krauthammer has been in his cave monitoring the transmissions of the brown people...