Tag: Joe Miller

This child can't stand Maureen Dowd either

Wonkagenda: Wednesday, September 7, 2016

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We'd probably watch this 'Northern Exposure' spinoff.

Nobody Needs To Spell Lisa Murkowski’s Weirdass Name Right This Time: Your Senate Sunday

There are strange things done in the midnight sun, like this year's race for the U.S. Senate. No, we're not going to do a full 'Cremation of Sam McGee' parody, sorry.

Joe Miller Pretty Sure That Immigrants Are Coming To Take Your Guns Away

You will recall that we grudgingly started paying attention to the Alaska senator's race because senior senator Lisa Murkowski is SO MAD that junior senator Mark Begich is going around saying they are friends. Now one of Begich's possible...

Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski So Mad That Senator Mark Begich Won’t Stop Telling People They Hang Out

We had utterly and completely forgotten the fact that one of Alaska's Senate seats is up for grabs this year. Hell, even the RNC couldn't be arsed to throw much money at any attack ads against sitting Democratic senator...
The best man to represent wherever he happens to land

Handsome Losers Scott Brown, Joe Miller Running For Office Again, But Where Is Christine O’Donnell?

FRIDAY TWOFER OF SHAME! Part I: Scott Brown, that handsome former Senator fellow who once accused Elizabeth Warren of masquerading as a Red Indian, is expected to "launch an exploratory committee for a U.S. Senate bid in New Hampshire,"...

Your Next Alaska Senator Lady Can Sing In Tongues, San Yay Koopala Peeba Okalabana In Jesus’ Name!

We have an exciting new entrant in our Cavalcade of Fringe Candidates, 2014 Edition! Yesterday, we brought you the satirical brilliance of Florida congressional hopeful Ilya Katz. Today, we go to the whole opposite corner of the continent to...

Joe Miller (Remember Him?) Leading Nevada (?) ‘Stop Romney’ Campaign

Beloved welfare farmer and shaving opponent Joe Miller (R-Loser) finally has a political job! Don't worry, Ivy League Joe still didn't get elected to anything. Miller is just the chairman of some new Teabagger group dedicated to defeating the...

‘An Evening With the Joe’s’: History’s Greatest GOP Meeting of Minds

Tonight, history will be made. "Join the launch of the historic effort to Defeat Barack Obama with America's most influential and conservative 'Joe's' at the pre-launch party," says the invitation. "No," you're thinking to yourself. "But — it's impossible,...

Joe Miller’s Alaska Militia Friend Jailed For Trying To Murder Judges

Scruffy-cheeked Ivy League teabagger Joe Miller lost his crazed bid to become a senator last year, but the sore loser still thinks he's got a place in politics. But will his ambitions survive his friendship with a 26-year-old white...

Hey Look, Joe Miller Finally Quit

Happy New Year! Joe Miller must have had to wait until 2011 to quit being an asshole for tax purposes. Yeah, that's it. Let's see how he starts his statement: "In what can only be described as actions that are...

Evil White Substance Invades East Coast But Spares D.C. Cute Panic

Around this time last year, an HISTORIC EVENT that could "only" be described by the adorable moniker "SNOWPOCALYPSE" destroyed our nation's capital, forever. Yesterday, a similar event occured in the Northeast, where such a thing is known as a...

Alaska Supreme Court: Joe Miller Is a Huge Loser

Break out your advent calendar and enjoy a delicious chocolate-covered Alaska Supreme Court ruling which states there "are no remaining issues raised by Miller that prevent this election from being certified." Yay! Blow it out yer butt, Joe Miller,...

Joe Miller Still Whining About That Election He Lost 1,000 Years Ago

For the love of Joseph and Mary's unsullied maidenhead: When will Joe Miller stop smelling his own farts and accept the fact that he is a loser? "Probably never," according to everyone. "He's a hopeless dick." Miller is still...

Unemployed Succubus Christine O’Donnell Hates Unemployed People

Outspoken fraud Christine O'Donnell hosted a fabulous Pearl Harbor Party at "a Chinese restaurant in Virginia" last night, and hundreds of white people came to hear her vomit lies and Lo Mein. (Nasty old Teabaggers love this lady, because...

Sarah Palin: The Presidential TeeVee Candidate America Deserves

Sarah Palin took a five minute break from her pre-scripted reality teevee existence to go on a different teevee show, so that she could tell Barbara Walters that it would be so easy for her to "defeat Barack Obama."...

Rude Republican Leadership Postpones First Date With Obama

Heartbroken liberals sobbed quietly in a corner after they found out that Barack Obama wanted to "talk" with John Boehner and his army of Republican Oompa Loompas -- because everyone knows "let's talk" is secret Beltway/truck stop code for...