Tag: japan

Man Time: Cheer for These Underdogs

There are two important underdog stories in sportsball right now, and you should be cheering for these guys before they leave us forever. They come to us from the world of bouncy hoops and golf, and if these stories...

New Japanese Robot Ladies Still Fall Short Of Anime Fantasy, May Nonetheless Kill Us All

Fans of the Uncanny Valley will be delighted to know that roboticists in Japan have taken another giant leap toward creeping us right the fuck out, with two new female-appearing androids that will be interacting with guests at the...

Stupidest Man On Internet Fears Obama’s True Loyalty Is To Mister Roboto

How is Barack Obama insulting America's dignity today? Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man on the Internet, reveals that the weak-willed absolute tyrant, whose spineless foreign policy encouraged the Russians to invade Ukraine even as he has dictatorially crammed health...

Is This Lawsuit Seeking To Remove Public Art Misguided Or Evil? Why Choose?

The Japanese did awful things in World War II that went above and beyond wartime fun, including mass rape and and forced prostitution. Japanese rightwingers does not like to be reminded of this, so some terrible people are suing...

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Will Live In Infamy

After all those wonderful lies about the Great Depression, it will be nice to get back to something more like reality in our rightwing Christian textbooks for the Christian school/homeschooling market. And so, on with World War II --...

Old Handsome Joe Biden Asks If Japanese Ladies’ Husbands Gave Them Permission To Get Jerbs

Oh, golly, Old Handsome Joe... You know, we get you, but not everybody gets you. You understand we literally love you to death, but sometimes, you sort of literally put your foot in your mouth? Like during this meeting...

American Kids Not Getting Dumber, But Not Getting More Smarter Either

Hello Americans. Today we are writing very slowly, because we know that you don’t read very fast. Or good. And we promise to stay away from complicated math, simple math, and any scientific theories more complicated than gravity, because...

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks For Your Homeschooled Imperialist

Welcome back, time-tourists, for another visit to the strange world of the past as viewed through a couple of textbooks for the Christian school market. You might recall that last week, we were genuinely impressed to see that some...

New Fukishima Mascot, Fukuppy, Is The ‘New Coke’ Of Japanese Rebranding

You have to feel a bit sorry for that smiling little egg guy up there. Here it is, ready to welcome visitors to the website for Fukushima Industries and promise them a happy browsing experience as they look over...

Everything We Know About North Korea Comes From Kim Jong-Il’s Sushi Chef

There is probably a pretty good dissertation to be written on the whole phenomenon of "Murderous Dictators Who Have Wacky Quirks," like how Moammar Khadafi collected Condi Rice sideboob photos or Uday Hussein's penchant for taking his pet tigers...

Customer Stands Pizza Joint’s Ground

Guess where this was. No, guess! Did you guess? YAY you WIN because it was of course in Florida, the state that has decided to outsource the use of lethal force to its people (unless they are wearing hoodies,...

Fun With Christianists: Things You Can Learn in a Christian ‘World History & Cultures’ Textbook (Part 1)

You know the drill by now: Every Sunday, we visit Christianist America, where Jesus delivered the Constitution to George Washington but now Christians are somehow a persecuted minority. This week's travelogue comes courtesy of World History and Cultures...

Goodbye Anusburger, Hello Fecesburger!

Unsatisfied with a diet of subsidized-corn subsidized-oil subsidized industrial cattle farm e.coli anusburgers? Japan's wacky scientists have a treat for you! It's being called the "poop burger". Japanese scientists have found a way to create artificial meat from sewage containing...

Mitt Romney Slams Obama By Saying How Great Both Their Health Plans Are

Mitt Romney has a HUGE liability in the Republican presidential race: He once helped people who needed health insurance get it, so their health and finances wouldn't be ruined simply because their fellow citizens didn't care if they died....

Japan Says It’s Okay For Children To Be Exposed To Lots Of Radiation

Good morning, miserable jingoes! Here is your dumb news: The Japanese government has made a few small changes to "nuclear safety standards in schools." Japanese schoolchildren can now be exposed to twenty times more radiation than was previously allowed!...

Here Is Your Nuclear Holocaust News Roundup

It's been an exciting week of "news," what with Donald Trump releasing his long-form draft card -- which proves that Obama never went to Harvard -- and blah blah blah. Good grief, we almost forgot that Japan's crippled nuclear...