Tag: house gop

Oregon Sen. Merkley Stays Up ALL. NIGHT. LONG. Wonkagenda For Wed., April 5, 2017

Jeff Merkley won't sit down, Fox can't stand up, and Trump's poll numbers fall. Your morning news brief!

BREAKING! House GOP Won’t Murder Obamacare Today, Will Wait Until Tomorrow Or Seven Years From Now

You'll be shocked to hear the House GOP failed again. You'll be shockeder to know it's your OPEN THREAD!

Only Seekers Pure Of Heart May Gaze Upon House GOP’s Sacred Obamacare Replacement!

Rand Paul tried. But Rand Paul failed.
Get ready to be sick of winning

Donald Trump Saves Eight Congressional Ethics Jobs From Going To Mexico! (OR DOES HE?)

DEAR MEDIA: STOP GIVING DONALD TRUMP CREDIT FOR THINGS HE DIDN'T DO.

House Republicans Murder Congressional Ethics Office, Because They’re Already So Ethical

What, you don't trust Republicans to police themselves? PFFFFFFFT.
You have GOT to be freaking kidding me.

Dammit, Loretta Lynch Won’t Put Hillary Clinton In Email Jail Either!

Probably because Hillary bribed her, ayup, that's the ticket, you bet.
Yep, she's worried. Look at the fear in her eyes.

House GOP Wants To Investigate Hillary’s Emails, Because That’s Gone So Well In The Past

Ooh, ooh! Maybe they could investigate Benghazi some more while they're at it!
That works for political careers and reputations, too.

Paul Ryan Releases GOP Plan To Replace Obamacare With Awesome New Plan Someday

The Republicans finally have a plan to replace Obamacare! It's really more of a wish list for brainstorming what a plan might look like, after some planning.
Just imagine it's a pith helmet or whatever

Ben Carson Was Going To Be Chief Neurosurgeon Of Congress One Time Too

Another exciting installment in the Choose Your Own Adventure series that is Ben Carson's fascinating whoa-if-true (but probably not true) life story! According to reliable source Ben Carson, in 2014 -- long before Republicans forced Speaker John Boehner to quit his job, leaving...
too bad so sad america

Genius Proposal Would Replace Hated IRS With Beloved Private Debt Collectors

In July, before rewarding themselves with more vacation days than you'll get over the next decade, the United States Senate actually addressed a real issue facing the nation. The esteemed legislative body passed a transportation bill in hopes that a bridge won't...
thought i gave a shit, didn't ya?!

Pop Quiz! The Troops Vs. Scummy Payday Loan Lenders. Who Do You Think Republicans Support?

Thanks to a timely poll of fickle conservatives, we now know that most Republicans don’t support America when the shit gets heavy or the President’s a Democrat. However, you would think that a party that co-opted Freedom, Founders and Flag Pins...

Boehner: Latest Benghazi Investigation Not Trying To Hurt Hillary, We Just Like Shouting ‘Benghazi!’

Even though the Benghazi "scandal" has been investigated approximately eleventy-nine times (seven to be specific), and even though the Republican-controlled House Intelligence Committee did their OWN investigation, and all seven of these investigations found absolutely no scandal, you are...
are these the good kind of handouts or the bad kind...?

House GOP Will Return Dignity To Poor By Starving Them

In their never-ending quest to prevent the safety net from catching actual poor people, the House GOP is once again taking aim at one of its favorite targets -- all of the Food Stamps. Invoking Track 4 of their Greatest Hits,...

GOP Plan To ‘Fix’ Obamacare And ‘Save Workers’ Will Cost $18 Billion, Insure 1 Million Less, Hooray!

Republicans are wasting precisely zero minutes saving America now that they are in charge of all the parts of Congress, thanks A LOT, voters. Destroying Social Security, giving oil lobbyists the Keystone pipeline they've always dreamed of, saving unborned...
Not so fast, man

House GOP Knows DC Voters Didn’t Mean to Legalize Weed

We all know how important it is to Republicans that the will of The People is never, ever overturned by some arbitrary branch of the eeeeevil Big Government. Like, say, when The People vote to ban rights for The...

House GOP Makes A Whoopsie On Obamacare Because Math Is Hard

Is there anything better than watching the House GOP flail around and repeatedly smack its own face as it tries to murder Obamacare? Oh no there is not. Yesterday the House Energy and Commerce Committee met and they had...