Tag: homeschooling

We’ve Seen Trump’s Education Budget, And We’re Really Gonna Miss Public Schools

Huh. Guess we don't need no education, for reals.

Steve King Has Terrific Plan To Give All Public Schools’ Money To The Duggar Family!

Good news! A terrible bill to gut public education may be defeated by opponents who are farther to the right than the bill's author, Iowa Rep. Steve King.

Who Was That Caped Circus Lady What Stoled Our Hearts? Michelle Van Etten, That’s Who!

After several nights of this convention crap, our eyes and ears and general faces have somewhat glazed over. We are Instacarting vodka and occasionally just screaming "Oh god, these people are horrible! Why are they all so horrible?" into...

RNC Night Three: Let’s Watch America Be First And Mike Pence Be Number Two! A Livebloog!

It's 'Make America First' Night at the RNC. Let's see what that nice Mr. Lindbergh has to say, shall we?

Texas Supreme Court Permits Homeschooling Parents To Continue Being Sh*theads

Last year, we wondered at you just how stupid you were legally permitted to be in Texas; now, thanks to the nine (all-Republican!) unelected (?) judges in robe on the Texas Supreme Court, we know the answer: We are...
Nature is so beautiful. Can't wait to cut it all down!

Oregon Militia Couple Celebrates ‘Take Your Daughters To Armed Insurrection’ Day

In a touching story that proves patriotism is a family value, Oregon Public Broadcasting confirmed Friday there are at least two young children staying at the Bundy Militia Insurge-O-Ree in eastern Oregon, where militants have taken over the Malheur...
He's super pals with Mike Huckabee too!

Duggar Guru And Hobby Lobby BFF Bill Gothard Maybe A Rapist, No Big

Once upon a time, Josh Duggar was a little boy who had just fingerbanged a bunch of his kinfolk, and because he was very, very bad, his parents sent him off to "therapy" with a "family friend" in Little...
Are they giggling because they stealed a baby???

The Duggars Will Help You Steal A Baby In Five Days Or Less, Maybe

Doesn't it blow when you want a baby but you ain't got no baby, and they won't let you take home the first one you see at the baby store? That's when you have to get on your knees and...
The reason for the season.

Here’s Your Turkey Drunk, Black Friday Hungover Weekly Top Ten. Read It NOW!

Good Saturday morning, Wonkers! You are so much fatter than last time we saw you, but that's OK, we are too. We hope your Thanksgiving was full of all the food you like, whether that's buckets of fried turducken...

Topeka Family Homeschooled 16 Kids Real Good, When They Weren’t Beating ‘Em, Allegedly

We come to this story from a place of concern. We come with a benefit of the doubt. We come with Hearts of Niceness, even. Topeka, Kansas, City Councilman Jonathan Schumm and his wife, Allison Nicole Schumm, have bonded...
They're watching you.

Jesus Buying All His Christmas Presents At Hobby Lobby And Chick-Fil-A From Now On

It's the most wonderful time of the year, almost! We've had a real good start to the War On Christmas, thanks to Starbucks making a cup that does not explicitly mention how the Baby Jesus died so you can...

Colorado Town Shocked To Discover Teens Do Sexytime, Even In Colorado

Turns out kids these days, like kids in those days and the days before that too, do sex things, to themselves and to each other. Even in small, wholesome towns where teenagers are still cursed with hormones and interests and...
See? Grammar not a problem.

Texas Couple Fights To Keep Kids Good And Stupid, The Way Jesus Likes ‘Em

There are no times tables at the Second Coming, that's what yr Wonkette always says. And apparently Michael and Laura McIntyre of El Paso agree with us, as they are suing the state of Texas for their God-given right...
It's your right to make everyone around you sick

Vermont Anti-Vaxxers Might Have To Start Own Church To Freely Worship Measles

The traditionally godless heathen state of Vermont, home of your favorite socialist and your favorite ice cream, has decided to pick up California's handcrafted hippy-dippy anti-vax woo woo slack. Earlier this year, California Gov. Jerry "Is 'Moonbeam' Still Funny?" Brown signed into law a requirement that parents...
she's as enthusiastic as ever!

Idiot Homeschool Mom Reviews Creation Museum, Likes How It Bibles Up Science

We're sad to report that her very modest YouTube success may have spoiled Megan Fox -- not the pouty, please-rescue-me gal from the Transformers movies, but the loopy Christianist homeschool mom whose bizarre "audit" of Chicago's Field Museum became...
Suspect tends to have a visible erection at all times.

Homeschooling Hero Wants You To Stop Being Mean To Righteous Kid-Diddler Josh Duggar

So a short while back that feels like a million years ago now, we quite presciently told you Josh Duggar proves "reality shows are bad, the Duggars are the worst, bigots are terrible, and don’t homeschool your kids." And that...