Tag: heterosexuals

BREAKING! Gay-Hatin’ Kentucky Judge And His Wife Are *Not* Banging Their Houseboy, Nosario

Judge Tim Philpot says gay marriage is just like jumbo shrimp and magnificent chihuahuas. THOSE THINGS AREN'T EVEN REAL!
This is actually a man from the United Arab Emirates, who got kicked out of Saudi Arabia for being too sexy. America wouldn't do that, right?

Obama Won’t Repopulate America With Sexxxy Gay Muslim Refugees. OR WILL HE?

Oh, this is just great. Not only does Barack Obama want to resettle somewhere upwards of eleventy-eight jillion (read: a measly 10,000) Syrian refugees in the United States, including the tiny toddler ones that make Fox News anchor Andrea...
Out of the mouths of babes.

Americans Pretty Much All Gay Now, According To Science

Good news for all you gays and gay-loving humans out there! According to science, basically all the U.S. Americans are Doing The Gay now, having completely abandoned God-Fearing Christian Morality for the much greener grass of "It's just skin, baby,...

Ill. Senator Mark Kirk Turns Out Not To Be Gay, Actually Has Tons Of Lady Problems

Mark Kirk is the Republican who ran to succeed beloved Greatest Senator Ever Roland Burris, and you probably remember him for two reasons: that he was rumored to be gay, and that his ex-wife stopped supporting his campaign because...

Texas Votes To Require Campus ‘Family Values Centers’ (For Non-Gays)

The Texas House overwhelmingly passed a budget last week that included an amendment that would force state universities to create a "traditional family values center" in order to continue receiving state funding if they currently have one of those...