Tag: heroes

Deleted Comments: Demons Are Real. Elizabeth Warren Is Fake.

Demons are real, Elizabeth Warren is fake, and selfishness is empathy. Quite a load this week.
He has special colors for each of the Two Corinthians

Trump To Be Sworn In Using Very Own Childhood Bible, Crayons

The Bible is such a yooge, classy book. Read it? Why would he read it? He lives it, and if you say otherwise, you're a loser.

Your 2016 Definitely Happy And Not At All Sad DANCE PARTY HALLELUJAH HOORAY!

This is not a sad post. It is a commemorative post about the amazing, iconic musical artists the year 2016 murdered. (And to all those who are all het up like "Stop saying a YEAR murdered them," oh will...
How a normal network might report the story

Fox News Knows Obama Personally Ordered Terrorist To Ride That French Train

There's an awful lot to be happy about in the story of the three vacationing Americans, a British executive, and a French passenger who overpowered a would-be terrorist on a high-speed train Friday. Nobody got killed, and even the two...
The moral arc of the universe gets one right

South Carolina Rushes To Overturn Convictions Of Civil Rights Protesters … From 1961

The town of Rock Hill, South Carolina, took a step to right an injustice from the Civil Rights era, vacating the 1961 trespassing convictions of nine protesters who spent 30 days on a chain gang for attempting to sit...
maybe we do need another hero now and then

Morning Maddow: Rachel’s Pantheon Of Heroes (Video)

Rachel Maddow noted Thursday night, "Sometimes the news gods decide that today's news will have a theme. And the news gods decided that for today, the theme is personal bravery." So in two segments, she brings us stories of...

Hero Judge Tells Bigoted Louisiana Teacher To STFU And GTFO

Remember that mean teacher in Louisiana who told one of her kids he was "stupid" for being a Buddhist? And remember how his parents sued and the ACLU was all, "Hey, mean lady, you can't go around saying stuff...

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Compost Heap Of Cretins And Creeps

Would you believe it's the final Derp Roundup of 2013? This is where we bring you the virtual melon rinds and coffee grounds of stories that didn't quite earn a full post of their own, but were too stoopid...

Worst Hero EMT Ever Refuses To Unleash Her Ta-Tas For Gravely Wounded Soldier

Indeed, Private Emily Tomkins, a British medic lass serving in Afghanistan, carried a soldier who'd just lost both legs to safety -- but did she unbind her heaving bosoms and grant him a life-saving peeksie? A WOUNDED squaddie who...

Here’s A Surprise: School Vouchers Help Spread Creationism

Just in case anyone was worried that American schools were sinking into a morass of Creationism and Stupid (ah, but we repeat ourselves), the bad news is, well, they kind of are. But the good news is that there...

Shell Oil Apparently Has Not Yet Learned What ‘The Internet’ Is For

Hello, Shell Oil! Have you fired your social media guru yet, or the ad agency that came up with the idea of crowdsourcing Shell's Let’s Go! Arctic campaign? Did it at least occur to you to borrow an RNC...

Robert Mugabe, Beacon Of Hope, Appointed Tourism Ambassador By U.N.

Robert Mugabe, yes, that one, the continued monomaniacal leader and premier "land reformer" of Zimbabwe, has a new job! In addition to the old job! Because he is getting bored with reforming land and "winning" elections and having lots...

George W. Bush Finally Endorses Romney at Ornate Elevator Door-Shutting Ceremony

At last, the only endorsement that matters: George W. Bush supports... Obama, again?... no, the other one, Willard McScalp-o-tron. It must have been the tales of privileged schoolboy terorrizing that ultimately won over Bush's heart. Gotta make'm earn it,...

‘Don’t Say Gay’ Turd Stacey Campfield Thrown Out of TN Restaurant

Stacey Campfield, rose-loving, gay-hating hate-mongering State Senator from Tennessee, who taught us everything (lie) we can't un-know about AIDS, was, on Sunday, hurtled from a Knoxville restaurant. Apparently the old eye-for-an-eye philosophy was imparted therein, which in this case...

Guy Auctions Himself Off to Embarrass Romney in Public

A man named Ron D. of Loudon, Tennessee recently put up an auction on eBay that offered his services to anyone looking to embarrass Mitt Romney (FREE SHIPPING). The blonde-dreadlocked man is currently underemployed, delivering pizzas, so he could...

Meet Your Arizona Superhero: Gabrielle Giffords’ Gay Latino Intern

Most modern-day interns spend a lot of time listening to hip-hop music on their iPods and refusing to perform any tasks that require actual intellectual or (gasp!) physical effort. How startling, then, that during Saturday's awful massacre in Tuscon,...