Tag: heaven

Cats with guns regret nothing.

Florida Man Sorry He Killed Son, But Just Can’t Stay Mad At His Beautiful Guns

A Florida father who shot his 14-year-old son to death in a freak accident is still pretty gung-ho on guns. He doesn't sound like a fanatic, after all.

Good Christian Girls Riding Dildos Straight To Hell

Listen, sisters in Christ, we need to talk. Have you thought about, if you were to die right this second, where you would spend eternity? Will you get to sit in Jesus's lap while He tells you all the...
Just sayin' a little prayer.

Marco Rubio Ready To Be President Of Jesus

Have you met Marco Rubio's personal BFF, the one man who loves him more than anyone else, who braids his hair and tells him everything is going to be OK when people make fun of his sexxxy man boots?...
GRRRRRRR, this woman again.

Kim Davis: Maybe The Appeals Court Will Feel Bad About My Gay Butthurts?

Oh gosh, big news in the Kim Davis case, folks! Having had their asses handed to them multiple times by District Court Judge David Bunning, the fine holy rolling jizzbrains at Liberty Counsel have decided to lead their client...

Kentucky Churches Giving Away Guns, Letting Jesus Sort ‘Em Out

It seems like a pretty sweet deal: Accept Jesus Christ as your savior and when you die, you’ll go to Heaven, which we’ve heard is just heavenly. But some people are canny, you know? They’re looking for that little...

Sundays With Jamie Kilstein And The Lord: Oh No Here Comes An Atheist

Since many of MSNBC’s afternoon shows have fallen flat and Dylan Ratigan left to find himself, the network had to act fast. So what do many of these boring shows with blah ratings have in common? Only one host!...

Child Tells Fox News He Met ‘Sea-Blue’-Eyed Jesus In Heaven

Aww, this is the greatest moment in Gretchen Carlson's life! She is so excited to hear this indifferent child tell her about the things his dad told him to tell her he saw in Heaven.

John McCain’s EPIC New Ad Loves Barack Obama!

Oh man, this ad is so much better than "Celeb." While that last one was creepy, this one is funny (or rather, "less creepy"), and expensive-looking, and has an upbeat soundtrack, and says all sorts of nice things about...

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