Tag: health and human services

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Today’s Your Obamacare Sign-up Deadline, Get It While You Can!

Today's the deadline to sign up for Obamacare plans starting January 1. Get on it, people.

Team Of Evils: Trump’s Pick For HHS Can’t Wait To Repeal Obamacare, Privatize Medicare, Certify Orphans As ‘Food’

You could find worse people to head HHS. They're undoubtedly going to other cabinet positions.
The plan is this guy. He'll be everyone's doctor.

Let’s All Sign Up For Obamacare And Go Naked!

Want to get their attention? Let's set ACA enrollment records.
Soon we can get back to insurance industry death panels the way Thomas Jefferson intended

House Lawsuit Makes Obamacare Worse, Just Like They Wanted. Hooray!

A federal judge ruled Thursday to kill Obama with fire, or at least shine a really warm light bulb on part of it.
"youpoisonedflint says what"

Poisoned Children Will Not Stop Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder’s Crusade For Small Government

Dennis Schornack spent three years as a senior adviser to jellyfish Michigan GovBot Rick Snyder before retiring in 2014. On Monday, he became one of the first administration members to criticize Snyder's role in letting tainted lead sludge flow...
I laugh at you idiots! So much!

Oh Hey Look At All The Billions Of Dollars Hospitals Are Saving With Obamacare

It's been a while since we reminded you that with Obamacare, everyone wins, right? Like that one lady who was all, "Oh no, I cannot afford my cancer treatment now because of how Obamacare makes it so much more expensive!" except...

White House Offers Sweet New Accommodation For Slut Pill-Haters, That Should Fix It

Damnit. Damn IT. DAMN IT!!! The Obama administration announced on Friday a new accommodation for religious non-profits that object to covering the full range of contraceptives in their employee health care plans. The new accommodation will allow religious non-profits, such as...

Virginia Remembers Jesus’s Words, ‘Suffer The Little Children To Come Unto Me,’ Unless The Little Children Are Messican

Hey, y'all hear about this burgeoning crisis of little children sent by their anguished, desperate parents alone to America? If your sole source of news is this here Wonket, you didn't, because "unaccompanied minors flooding into the nation by...

No Fair — How Can Darrell Issa Leak Obamacare Website Security Info If HHS Won’t Trust Him?

When we first read this article about notorious cosmic dingleberry Darrell Issa (R-Satan's Bunghole), we seriously had a newsgasm. After cleaning up our computer screen, we have been laughing ever since, because... well, this is just so awesome, even...

GOP Terrified That Obamacare Will Make It Easier For Poors To Vote

For some time there's been a simmering freakout on the right about how the Affordable Care Act did sex with the National Voter Registration Act of 1993 and now everyone who visits an ObamaKare Throat-Booting Center will be force-fed...

Marco Rubio Would Not Like To Try Your Sample Of Obamacare Thank You Very Much

Oh, conservatives. Your perpetual ragesad about Obamacare could power a small country. We lose track of what you are mad at today. What are you mad at today? Oh hey, Marco Rubio. Didn't see you there. Were you off...

Stupidest Man On The Internet Warns Obamacare Storm Troopers Will Come For Your Children

Never mind the Death Panels, did you know that Obamacare has a secret provision that will allow forced home inspections? Well of course it does! Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft warns: Here come the home raids… A new provision...

BREAKING! David Vitter Does Thing That Is Kind Of Okay

In breaking news-that-shouldn’t-be-news, a Republican Senator has publicly stated that he will help constituents if they call asking for help about a federal program! Ticker-tape parade! Balloons! A spread of the finest Ritz crackers and Costco-brand cheeses in all...

Wingnut Matt Barber Calmly Explains Why ‘Obama’s HHS’ Is Pretty Much A Pedophile

Oh my gosh, you guys, did you know that Barack Obama is "grooming" your innocent children to turn them into sex fiends? We'd have been unaware of this science fact were it not for totally credible (or is...

American Birth Control Mandate To Lead To Communist Chinese One-Child Policy! Everybody Panic!

Hey ladies! How's your womb? Is it fruitful? No? What about now? Is it fruitful yet? Well are you even TRYING? It is your job to fill your stomach with tiny babies, a Quiver full of babies even, and...

Plan-B Access Denied by Incorrigible Twits, GOP Very Upset Obama Trying to Appoint Cabinet Secretary

For the first time in the 105-year history of the Food and Drug Administration an FDA directive has been publicly overruled by the department of Health and Human Services. About what? About teenagers doing it! That's right, FDA commissioner...