Tag: god hates fags

Mike Pompeo Running CIA From Warm, Safe Office Inside Donald Trump’s Butt

BREAKING NEWS: Mike Pompeo is REALLY FUCKING BAD at his job.
Sorry not sorry, Kentucky

Jesus-Loving Calligraphy Bigots Ordered To Make Wedding Invitations For Gross Gaywads

This is just like getting eated by lions probably.

Ted Cruz Will Protect Gays By Letting Christians Discriminate Against Them More

You know there is that thing called "gay Republicans"? Yeah, it's pretty weird to us too. It's like, "Oh you only vote that way because you're white and you have money and your tax cuts are more important to...
Common mistake!

Westboro Baptist Church Knows Paris Attacks Happened Because God Hates Frogs

Hip hooray, the Phelps family of Westboro Baptist Church has offered to lend a hand in the aftermath of the Paris attacks! So of course, they're doing Christ-like things like sending money and medical care and HAHA JUST FOOLIN'. Instead,...
But I thought I hated fags real good too!

Nice Christian Protesters Say Kim Davis Is Big Whore, Going To Hell Probably

Do you need something to make you LOL on this Monday? Well, that's why you're at Wonkette, obviously, but for real though. Because even if we didn't make all the hilarious jokes about it, you would still be ROFLMAOing...
New county clerk much nicer than the last.

It’s A Nice Day To Kentucky Marry Your Gay Homosexual Lover!

Yr Wonkette loves stories with happy endings, and yr Wonkette loves getting married! You know that thing that Editrix Becca did, when she Montana-married her heterosexual lover? Well, due to how SOMEBODY is currently doing a little jail time...
Listen, honey, there's something I need to tell you.

Looks Like Josh Duggar Wanted To Molest An Adult For Once

We TOLD you people about how that gross Ashley Madison website, where married people go and set up accounts so they can try to have naked affairs with other married people, got hacked. And now the hackers have released...
Probably what this dude's cakes look like.

Another Court Tells Another Gay-Hatin’ Baker To Suck A Cake Froster

The Colorado Court of Appeals has given another homophobe cake baker the gift of martyrdom and however many virgins fundamentalist Christian assholes get when they eat dirt and die. Oh no, the judges didn't LITERALLY kill the baker, they just wrote...
My name is Kim and I'm a total dick, how may be of no help to you today?

Dumb Kentucky Clerk Sues For Religious Freedom To Suck At Her Job

Over the last month or so, most holdout county clerks have at least begun to acquiesce to the idea that yes, there gays in America and yes, those gays can get married now (to each other!), and if you...

Gay-Hating Oregon Bakers Real Tired Of Getting Concentration Camped By Hitler

Ready for another dumb Hitler analogy, because this is the week where we do those? Let's get reacquainted with Aaron and Melissa Klein, who decided to be martyrs just like Jesus, by refusing to make a cake for a...
Jesus loves the little children, unless they're super-duper gay. SING ALONG!

Big Banks Won’t Stop Cramming Homosexuals Down Franklin Graham’s Throat

Poor persecuted Franklin Graham, insane wingnut son of evangelist Billy Graham and president of his daddy's association, saw a Wells Fargo ad on the teevee, and the ad had lesbians in it, and this shall not stand! So he took...
Come live inside my manly face hairs.

Porn-stached Wingnut Just Asking: Should We Secede Because Of Gay Homo Marriage?

The Supreme Court is just about ready, any day now, to throatcram America TO DEATH, with gay marriage, and very serious newsman Joseph Farah, of the pre-condom gay porn-era Farahs, has taken to the august pixels of his very serious...
It will look just like this.

Boy Scouts President Says Gay Scout Leaders Just Fine, Haters Can Take A Hike

Hurray, we have a Nice Time, and it is about the Boy Scouts! If you search your noggin, you'll remember way back in 2013, when the entire Boy Scouts of America (BSA) got homosexual agendaed, because they lifted the...
The cats are cuter than anything you'll read in this post.

How Are White Wingnuts Fixing The Blacks Of Baltimore This Week?

Ever since the alleged police murder of Freddie Gray and the rioting that followed, white wingnuts have been trying SO HARD to do something -- anything! -- to help the poor black communities of Baltimore recover and move on...