Tag: gitmo

Trump Makes America Great Again With New DADT. Wonkagenda for Thurs., Aug. 24, 2017

Trump gets official with his trans ban, fossil fuel companies aren't even trying anymore, and Kushner properties are throwing people in debtors' prison. Your morning news brief!

They Blinded All The Science. Wonkagenda For Mon., July 3, 2017

Ted Cruz secretly starts CruzCare, Chris Christie beaches himself, and Josh Groban schools Trumpkin Twitter trolls.

Russia? Never Heard Of Him! Wonkagenda For Tues., June 27, 2017

The CBO shakes pill bottles at Congress, and the US Park Police shake down black kids. Your morning news brief!

Know Your Wrays: Fay Was In ‘King Kong,’ Chris Is Trump’s FBI Nominee

Not included: any discussion of William Wegman's Weimaraner Fay Ray.

Exxon, You Dirty, Dirty Whore. Wonkagenda For Thursday, December 29, 2016

Exxon's got an image problem, John Kerry triggers Israel, and James O'Keefe wants a big boy news job! Your daily news brief!

Trump’s Crappy Cabinet. Yr Wonkagenda: Monday, November 14, 2016

Trump's stocking his cabinet, just how lame our "lame duck" congress is, and the Berner's are back. Your daily news brief!
Is it November 9 yet?

Let’s Pretend To Care About Kansas And South Carolina! Your Senate Sunday Reaches Its End

Let's see what's doing in some red states, to round out our look at all 34 Senate races this year.
The smartest man in the room

Sen. Tom Cotton Dreams Of An America With Even More People In Prison

Sen. Tom Cotton offered a contrarian take on prison reform: we need to put a whole lot more people behind bars, ideally forever.

Congress Surrenders U.S. Army To Known Homosexual, Thanks Obama!

Just last week, we were telling you about how, last year, Obama nominated a known homosexican, Eric Fanning, to be secretary of the Army, but that Republican Sen. Pat Roberts, a dickhead, was being a dickhead about letting him be...

Obama’s Gay Army Secretary Nominee On Hold, Because Sen. Pat Roberts Is Being A Dick

But Sen. Roberts is being a dick for COMPLETELY unrelated reasons, he says!
I AM THE DUMMEST AND I BREATHE OUT OF MY MOUTH

Tom Cotton Screwing Up The One Good Thing Congress Might’ve Done This Year

Wow, it looks like Congress is actually going to accomplish something for once, on prison reform! Surely, no one can screw this one up for us, right? Ohhh, you sweet summer child. So who's here to rain on our happy...

Tea Party Hero Sen. Tom Cotton Says Gitmo Doesn’t Recruit Terrorists, Because LOGIC

Teabagger Tom Cotton, an actual elected senator from Arkansas, proved this week that, contrary to media reports and the lies of actual terrorists, there is absolutely no way anyone in the Muslim world has ever been moved to take...

Open Carry Terrorist Not Threatening To Kill Anyone, Just Wants Them Dead

Based on the video above and your knowledge of the national security apparatus in the year 2003, how quick do you think Kory Watkins would be Gitmo'd if he were Muslim, and it was 2003? Pretty quick, right? Here's...

Allen West, Fox & Friends Expose Muslim Plot To Jihad America With Votes

You guys, there is some serious UN-AMERICAN activity happening, and we bet you don’t know about it! According to Allen West on Fox & Friends, there is a secret Muslim plot in America to… wait for it… become politically...

Gitmo Uses Skinny Puppy’s Music To Interrogate Prisoners, Because Nickleback Considered Cruel & Unusual

You know what sucks? And no, you can’t say ‘the modern GOP,’ because that’s just plain obvious. What sucks is the government taking your music, that you labored over for many minutes, hours, days, and/or months, and using it...

Wonksplainer! Congress Unveils Spending Bill That Will Probably Screw You Over Somehow

Hold on to your hats, gentlemen, and clutch your pearls, ladies, because House and Senate negotiators have come up with a … wait for it… COMPROMISE! After you pick you jaws up from the floor, we shall dig through...