Tag: fox and friends

Fox News Very Sorry You Can’t Call President Obama ‘A Pussy’ On TV

After impatiently demanding, 29 hours a day, that the president nut up and call the shootings in San Bernardino last week TERRORISM, Fox News's ew nasty nighttime ejaculations came true. So did Obama's Sunday night address from the Oval Office...
True fact: Nerdy smiles started as a prison fashion, like saggy pants

Muslim Clock Nerd Ahmed Mohamed Gonna Sue Bejesus Out Of Bigot Texas Town

In a development we've only been anticipating since Day One, the family of Ahmed Mohamed is threatening to sue over a September incident in which the 14-year-old was arrested after he brought a home-rebuilt alarm clock to school in Irving,...

Donald Trump Copied Scott Walker’s Immigration Homework, Says Scott Walker

As we already told you (sheesh, do you people EVER listen?), Donald Trump released his terrifically detailed immigration policy, and it's terrific. And classy. And beautiful. And tremendous. And the most brilliant policy you ever did read. And in...
Chopped liver, apparently.

Megyn Kelly Joked About Her Husband’s Dick One Time, So Donald Trump Wins Forever

You know how Fox News "journalist" Megyn Kelly was probably bleeding from her V-word, and that's why she was such a B-word to Donald Trump during the Republican debate? (Or maybe not, and Donald Trump is a rude sexist...
This is an accurate offensive stereotype

Confederates Mourn As Flags Quietly Secede From Poles, License Plates

The Confederate flag just keeps slithering off flagpoles and license plates and out of retail stores lately, and the losses have been piling up like bodies in a Matthew Brady daguerreotype. Now I Hope Neil Young Will Remember The most recent...

Fox News Can’t Believe Obama Said Christians Have Done Bad Stuff Too, For Jesus

President Obama said words again, as he is so uppity-ly wont to do, so of course the dimwitted mouth-breathers on Fox & Friends are OUTRAGED!!!! Damn you, Obama, with your word-saying. This time, he was word-saying words at the National...

New House Speaker Louie Gohmert Will Fix America, Depose Dumb Drunk RINO John Boehner

Texas congressman and casual House-floor snacker Louie Gohmert delivered blessed news to the nation on the first Sunday of the new year: he will finally rise to be the savior America needs by defeating John Boehner to become the new Speaker of...
Why Not the Pest?

Donald Trump Will Either Run For President, Stay On Fox, Or Become Ballerina Princess Veterinarian

In what is undoubtedly the YOOGEST news since the last time Donald Trump said anything, Donald Trump hinted today on Fox & Friends that the situation in Washington has become so intolerable, what with the fraud and the lying...
Keith Ablow is ready to jihad everyone.

What Do You Want To Do Today, Keith Ablow? Try To Take Over The World!

We have read through this new column by walking foreskin Dr. Keith Ablow about four times now in the hope that we will reach a point where it does not make us want to smash our own face with...
We are all sad today

Wingnuts Find The One Thing That’s Not Funny, And It Is Mitt Romney

In the rightwing world, there are a lot of things that are HI-larious and worthy of mockery. Encouraging kids to carve a coal plant in their pumpkins to really stick it to these tree-huggers at the Department of Energy?...
Eyebrow of Doom!

Stephen Colbert So Sad Now That Fox & Friends Got The Ebola (Video)

TV Funnyman Stephen Colbert is understandably concerned about the emergence of Ebola in America, and by "concerned," we mean thoroughly terrified that the virus has made it from "Whocaresistan" to our golden shores. Just don't touch the fluids...

Fox & Friends: God Hates Feminists

Attention ladies! Do you know what you want, what you really really want? Probably not, so how about you listen to these three hotties – WHOM YR WONKETTE RESPECTS FOR THEIR MINDS AS WELL AS THEIR FEMININITY – yap...

Dumb Sheriff Doesn’t Even Agree With Fox & Friends That Illegal Immigrants Should Be Left To Die

Brian Kilmeade got a GOTCHA on some dumb Texas "sheriff," when he played 911 tapes of illegal immigrants calling the police for help with stupid things like "not dying." "So those calls, you have to respond to, even though for...

Fox & Friends Will Burn Whoremongering Isabel Allende Books Now, Thank You

Today, from the Department of Oh Do Shut The Hell Up, we have Fox's Elisabeth Hasselbeck giving airtime to some random lady who is making life hell for North Carolina's Watauga County school district because they assigned a book...

Sexy Fashion God Donald Trump Does Not Care For Barack Obama’s Super Bowl Outfit

When you think "male fashion plate," who comes to mind? Tim Gunn? David Beckham? Haha of course not. You think Donald Trump because shiny ties and dead-squirrel-on-your-head hair is where it is AT. Mr. Blackwell Trump puts Obama on...

John Stossel Explains That War On Poverty Failed Because Ladies Want Too Much Free Stuff

Impacted bowel John Stossel dropped by the set of Fox & Friends yesterday to drop a little truth on hosts Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Steve Doocy, and whatshisname, the guy who is always squinting in puzzlement like he’s losing a battle...