Tag: flint water crisis

We won't, we promise.

This Is SOME BULLSHIT: Michigan Keeping John Conyers’s Seat Empty For Rest Of His Term

Why would Detroit need a Congressman? THIS IS FINE.
It's not even the rust that'll get you, though

Michigan’s Top Medical Official Charged With Poison-Watering People To Death, IS STILL TOP MEDICAL OFFICIAL

Dr. Eden Wells was pretty unhelpful when she threatened to take away Flint's public health money if they kept investigating the outbreak of Legionnaires' Disease she knew about!

White House Tries To Distract Trump. Wonkagenda For Tues., Oct. 10, 2017

Trump is ready to explode, California's burning to the sea, and ESPN shits the bed (again). Your morning news brief.

Messing With Flint’s Water Made Lots Of Women Miscarry. Tell Us How ‘Pro-Life’ You Are, GOP?

Saving 'preborn babies' is dandy when you're restricting women's health choices. But cleaning up their water? That costs money.

‘Pro-Life’ Utah Senator Mike Lee Totally Fine With Flint Babies Drinking Poison Water

Once they're born, babies can go screw.

Barack Obama Goes To Flint, Promises To Lay Some Pipe

President Barack Obama spoke for nearly an hour Wednesday in Flint, Michigan, on the city's water crisis, reassuring residents that filtered water is safe to drink, encouraging them to get their children tested for lead, and promising that the...
I love the taste of deadly neurotoxins in the morning

Three Officials Not Named ‘Rick Snyder’ Charged For Turning Flint’s Water To Poison

Looks like there's finally going to be some justice for the people of Flint, Michigan, following the lead poisoning of its water: three officials have been charged with crimes, although so far the Emergency Managers who approved the switch...

Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder Says Flint’s Poison Water Is MMM MMM GOOD!

It's been a minute since we've checked in on the water situation in Flint, Michigan, to see if it's still sludgy and toxic and full of lead poops. Of course, since such a valiant conqueror as Republican Gov. Rick...
We won't, we promise.

GOP Will Dismantle EPA So It Can Never Poison Flint’s Water Again

Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder told a congressional hearing Thursday he was shocked and horrified the federal government allowed him and his incompetent administration to poison the children of Flint with all that lead. In testimony Thursday before the House...

Rick Snyder Simply Can’t Believe Hillary And Bernie Would Blame HIM For Flint Crisis

Where do these big government Demon-cratics GET OFF? That is what Republican Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder would like to know. During Sunday night's Democratic debate in Flint, Michigan, Hillz and Bernie took some time to agree with each other that...
Don't drink the water

Democrats Have Civilized Debate, No Trump Penis Allowed

Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are at it again, preparing for another of those civilized discussions of how they disagree on some stuff but are both 100% dead certain that either of them would be a jillion times better...
We won't, we promise.

Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder Hires Fancy New Lawyers, Just In Case He’s A Giant Criminal

Rick Snyder, governor of Michigan, has been telling us for a million days now how it's not HIS fault the water in Flint is made of lead mucus pube sludge. It's the feds' fault! It's the government's fault! (Huh?) Or...

Pro-Life Republicans Have Better Things To Do Than Help Flint’s Poisoned Children

Months after we found out that the water in Flint, Michigan, had poisoned some 9000 children in the city, Congress is almost ready to think about approving funds to replace Flint's corroded water pipes, some of which are still leaching lead...
We won't, we promise.

Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder Outraged Feds Let Him Poison Children Of Flint

Raise your glass for Rick Snyder, Michigan's governor from the party of small government and personal responsibility. Now that he's been made aware that state officials have been aware for quite some time that Flint citizens have been drinking poisoned...

Bundys, Beyoncé And Rick Snyder’s Wife’s Birthday Cake. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Well hi there and good Saturday morning to you, Wonkers! Many newses happened this week, so it's good that you're here for us to catch up together! Haha just kidding, we are not together, because WE WROTE THESE DAMN...