Tag: english

Deleted Comments: Didn’t You Know Trump Won, So All Politics Is Now Over?

Some of you people just don't understand how democracy works: there's an election, someone wins, THE END.
Yes America is that dumb

Yr Wonket Beated Up A Idiot Today And It Was Great, Also Too

You mad, bro? You must be mad because you are like GAHHHHH and ARGHHHHHH and angry comments (which we do not allow) and angry tweets (which we mute) and angry MyFacePlace words (which we ignore) and OMG we even made the spitting rage...
It was right there on his hand the whole time.

Jeb Bush Becomes Black Voter

Oh Jebbers McJebberton Bush, you are just all over the place! You were a Hispanic voter, but then you distanced yourself from that and did whiteness again, and then you and your Mexican wife, Columba, rolled out a new Latino...
He was only wearing it for a costume, he swears.

Donald Trump Doesn’t Want To Press ‘1’ To Hear Jeb Bush Lose In English

Louche stool Donald Trump gave an exclusive interview to Dead Breitbart's Home for Terrified White People on Wednesday, and revealed that not only is he certain he'll be elected president in 2016, but he's pretty sure he'll win re-election in...
Ah, Sinfest, we love you

Oh Great, Now Even The Southerns Are Gender Fluid

It's the first week of school at many colleges, which means it's time for another round of panic about socialist liberal indoctrination and threats to America and all that stuff. Take, for example, this "What are those crazy eggheads saying...
Olé!

Rep. Steve King Is Most Mexicanest Person Alive, Says Rep. Steve King

What comes to mind when you think of Iowa Rep. Steve King? Racist? Wingnut? Asshole? Dumb as a knapsack full of syphilitic fucks? Well you are wrong, because the only thing that should come into your mind when you...

Sarah Palin Brings Her Patented Wit To Bear On Refudiating Strawman Bergdahl Story

Sarah Palin posted an example of rightwing comedy on her Faceplace thing Tuesday with some hilarious riffs on the absurd notion that Bowe Bergdahl has "forgotten how to speak English" -- which isn't something that anyone in Bergdahl's family...

Surprise, Breitbart Writer Does Not Know What ‘Orwellian’ Means, How To Read

If it's Tuesday, it must be time for someone on the internet to be fretting that English Is Doomed, and so is America, because of . And so let us spend a moment with poor Merrill Hope at Dead...

New Fukishima Mascot, Fukuppy, Is The ‘New Coke’ Of Japanese Rebranding

You have to feel a bit sorry for that smiling little egg guy up there. Here it is, ready to welcome visitors to the website for Fukushima Industries and promise them a happy browsing experience as they look over...

Chuck Grassley Tells Us All To ‘Quit Complaining’ About His Twitter

Oh no. This is like an effeminite kid telling YouTube not to call him gay. Look what everybody did on Twitter! We upset Chuck Grassley. No, the Twitter character limit is not 120, it's 140. And no, it's...

Twitter Has Officially Turned Chuck Grassley Into a Robot

All joking aside, we used to be able to understand at least one of the things Chuck Grassley was trying to say in his tweets. Now, we are pretty sure he is just some kind of robot. Is this...

Sarah Palin Tweets More Hieroglyphs

TERM HAS BEEN HIJACKED! But who hijacked term? "Feminist"? Possibly. Furthermore, how can a sound, such as a cackle, want something? How can a sound have expectations? How can a sound perform a crucifixion? These are the questions our...

Daily Briefing: See Ya, Arlen