Tag: elephants

Donald Trump’s Disgusting Idiot Sons Can Now Kill All The Elephants They Want

Can't think of any reason Trump would reverse this Obama-era policy... Oh, *that.*
Happy birthday, you young thing!

President Obama Is Maybe Cool With You Tokin’ Up, For Your ‘Health’

If the President Barry H. Bamz (D-Choom Gang) thinks medical marijuana might be good for you, who are we to argue? CNN's chief medical correspondent Sanjay Gupta, a vocal supporter of the legalization of medical marijuana, asks Obama in the...
Maybe the not so S-M-R-T one

The Way Jeb Bush Is F*cking Up, You’d Think He Was Already Running For President

Jeb Bush -- who has got to be tired by now of being laughingly referred to as "the smart one," but screw him, let's never stop doing that, he IS supposed to be the smart one, isn't he? -- has had...

First Lady of Twitter Callista Gingrich Writes a Book for Child Patriots

Teen sensation Newt Gingrich has just won something called a “Twitter primary,” which is a presidential race that only exists on Twitter, but doesn’t really exist at all. So congratulations, Newt Gingrich, for being President of Twitter, which is...

Meghan McCain’s Wonkette Memories

And what has the politics biblioburro brought us this week? Why, it’s Dirty Sexy Politics by Meghan McCain, America’s flaxen-haired princess of dirt and sex and politics. Meg is a Renaissance Woman, you see: heiress to beer treasures, daughter of...

Party of Lincoln, Party of Reagan, Party of Furries

America's greatest new blog journalist, the Boston Globe's Garrett Quinn, sends this Perfect Photograph from this weekend's Massachusetts GOP convention. How do we know that's not Scott Brown in the middle, hiding from Sarah Palin? First, he is not...

History’s Most Important Election In An Odd-Numbered Year, In Cartoon Form

By the Comics CurmudgeonGenerally speaking, most Americans can barely be bothered to vote during important elections -- you know, the ones with years divisible by four! It's even harder getting them off of their Dorito-stained couches to cast...

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "We didn't pay 37 million zlotys for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there. We were supposed to have a herd, but as Ninio prefers male friends over females...

St. Patrick’s Day: Did You Know It’s Almost Here?

America's longwinded celebration of St. Patrick's Day is really almost over. And here are your last opportunities to guzzle discounted chocolate stouts and see actual live elephants walk through town, for Ireland. Tonight: It's the quiet before the storm, but...

And We Shall Give Ourselves Over To The Beasts

By the Comics CurmudgeonHa ha, another week gone, another week in which our economy and the posh lifestyle it has afforded us continues to circle the drain, leading us inevitably towards despair! This has of course led to...

Barry Brings Sexy Back To DC!

By the Comics CurmudgeonHey, how's what's-his-name doing, you know, the Muslim fellow? President Whosit? I guess there's some sort of stimulus thingie he's dealing with right now, and some tax-related dealies with the people he's trying to...

Hey Kids, Check Out Lil’ Trigger In His Elephant Costume

Little baby Trig must be so glad he wasn't aborted for this, his first Halloween, because his parents dressed him up like a political party symbol to be carried around at snarling political events. Aww. Isn't life just grand?...

St. Paul, The Night Before The Jackass Convention

Last night, your Wonkette editors visited the city of St. Paul, in Minnesota. What a glorious City Of Lights! Ha ha, not really, it was empty except for cops and military people protecting John McCain Arena. We thought this...

GOP Convention To Be Blood-Soaked Reenactment Of Second Punic War

Thank you to Wonkette pamphlet operative "Taylor" for sending us this fantastic brochure from the Minneapolis Saint Paul 2008 Host Committee about the exciting upcoming convention. How rad will it be? Well if this pamphlet is any indication, John...