Tag: Egypt

Trump Bigger Than Jesus! Wonkagenda For Fri., Dec. 1, 2017

GOP money fuckery, Trump lights a tree, and Walmart apologizes for trying to kill journalists. Your morning news brief.

But Michael Flynn’s Russian Uraniums!

We're sure Sean Hannity will do a Glenn Beck chart about this on his TV show tonight. You bet.

TrumpCare Rises Again! Your Wonkagenda For Fri., April 21, 2017

Trump breaks up with Julian Assange, Alex Jones's custody battle got WHOO BOY NASTY, and Jason Chaffetz wants you to know his pooper is sparkling clean! Your morning news brief!
You furnish the intelligence report and I'll furnish the travel ban

Reuters To Cover Trump Like Any Other Tinpot Dictator

Reuters is planning to cover the Trump administration like it would any other banana republic. Why do we suddenly want to read Graham Greene novels?

Walking in a Nuclear Winter Wonderland! Wonkagenda for Friday, December 23, 2016

Trump's love of nukes, Putin hates Democrats, Rachel Maddow grills Kellyanne Conway! Your daily news brief!
Rachel Maddow has had it with your shit

Your Morning Maddow: Here’s How Our Presidential Candidates Get Along With A Dictator

Hillary Clinton had tough words for Egypt's autocratic president. Donald Trump had wet kisses for him.
Amusing alt-text for image

Wonkagenda: September 21, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

Egypt Does Archaeological Dig On Ben Carson’s Brain, Discovers A Idiot

Brilliant neurosurgeon (OR IS HE?) Ben Carson is officially an international disgrace. Congratulations, doctor! You have now joined the elite ranks of several other Republican presidential candidates who have forced foreign nations to "Well, ACTUALLY" them, for their stupidity. Other...

Can We See Ben Carson’s Birth Certificate, Just To Prove He Was Really Born?

"Doctor" "Ben" "Carson" -- if that is even his real name, and we have reason to doubt -- has some real cool inspirational stories about his life. He grew up on a special kind of private sector welfare, which...
Confession: We never thought this song was all that funny. Steve Martin, yes. The song? Meh.

Surprise, Dr. Ben Carson’s Latest Pyramid Scheme Involves Actual Pyramids

The list of Weird Shit Ben Carson Thinks grew by one item this week, as BuzzFeed dug up some old video of Ben Carson sharing his Personal Theory of the Pyramids at a university commencement speech in 1998. This...

Happy Benghazi Day! Watch Hillary Clinton Admit She Did Benghazi, For The LOLs

It's here, it's finally here! Hillary Clinton is testifying before Congress, for the first time ever except for the other time she already did, to answer questions that have already been answered a million times. And maybe now we will...
Look, YOU try putting a bumper sticker on a camel...

‘God Hates Retirement’ Is Wingnuts’ Hot New Reason For Killing Social Security

We're pretty sure that two examples makes for a trend (or at least it does at the New York Times), so it's officially time to call this a genuine wingnut epidemic: Citing the Bible as proof that God wants...
Tahrir Square, 2013 (but definitely not 2011)

Louie Gohmert’s Movie Review: ‘Selma’ An Inspiring Reminder To Fear Muslims

Texas Congressmaroon Louie Gohmert saw a movie about the Civil Rights Movement, and it so inspired him that he just had to tell the world about its inspiring message about the need to defeat Radical Islam. "I thought about the...
Why can't we have a nice military dictator too?

Republicans Have Massive Freedom Boner For Egypt’s Dictator

Attention, Wonkers: We're proud to announce that the American right has a new Strongman Boyfriend! They seem to have a real crush on Egyptian President Gen. Abdel Fattah al-Sisi, who seized power in the 2013 coup against Mohammed Morsi....
She looks like she's calculating how long it would take to reach the emergency exit

Pat Robertson Pretty Jazzed About How ISIS Terrorists Are Pulling End Times Prophecy Together

ISIS is a bunch of unstoppable murderous thugs trying to drag the Middle East into a New Medieval Order, and Pat Robertson couldn't be more tickled by the prospect. You see, children, Brother Pat is excited by their goal...

Congresscritters Bachmann, Gohmert, & King Love Egyptian Coup, Think Muslim Brotherhood Did 9/11

America's three stupidest congresscritters, Michele Bachmann, Louie Gohmert, and Steve King (the cantaloupe guy, not the IRA guy), held a press conference Saturday to praise the Egyptian military for overthrowing the elected government and for its recent attempt...