Tag: e-mails

North Carolina Representative: Let’s Bring Back Public Hangings

Republican Representative Larry Pittman of Cabarrus County, NC thinks, sort of like Newt Gingrich did back in the '90s, that capital punishment is the only way to scare people like "abortionists, rapists and kidnappers" (what, no murderers?) into being...

Lawmaking Fool Apologizes for ‘Mrs. YoMama’ E-Mail

Kansas House Speaker Mike O'Neal took his time quasipologizing for it, but the Republican has finally admitted wrongdoing in forwarding a warm holiday message comparing Michelle Obama to the Grinch by making use of some unfortunate Wind Event that...

Non-Glenn-Beck-Watchers Are Morons, Says Man Who Can’t Spell Own Name

Hey, our friend Dennis with the animated upskirt kiddy cartoon e-mail signature sent us another notice about being pinheads. "Yep, pinheads who don't watch Glenn Beck really are progressive morons. Mr. Beck constantly tells his vast audience 'Don't take...

Glenn Beck Fans Don’t Understand How We Can Possibly Dislike Him

We have no idea why this Glenn Beck notice we threw up the other day has gotten so much traffic, but it has, much of it from Glenn Beck fans, apparently. Did we say something mean about Glenn Beck?...

Leaked Book SHOCKER: Sarah Palin Is Terrible

"A leaked manuscript by one of Sarah Palin's closest aides from her time as governor charges that Palin broke state election law in her 2006 gubernatorial campaign and was consumed by petty grievances up until she resigned." Nah, that...

Barack Obama’s Friends Won’t Shut Up About Him Sending Us a Thank-You Card

Look Barry, if you want us to update our addresses for you so your band of merry organizer children can come and harass us for all of 2012, you should have asked us yourself. Don't send Joe Biden and...

Desperate Bobby Jindal In Some Kind of Louisiana Diaper Situation

Sure, but when your afternoon editor needed help moving last week, Bobby Jindal was nowhere to be found. He can die in that stuffed-animal crane machine he's stuck in for all we care.

White House Absolutely Loved Shirley Sherrod Firing, Documents Show

Internal e-mails concerning the firing of Shirley Sherrod have been released to media organizations that requested them, and it turns out the USDA and White House acted pretty much like everyone thought they had! "Just wanted you to know...

Todd Palin E-mail No Big Deal Because Palins Say It Isn’t

Todd and Sarah Palin have responded to the leak of Todd's e-mail to Joe Miller yesterday, and it's basically, "What? That wasn't controversial. Lamestream media!" Earlier this afternoon, Todd sent a message to The Weekly Standard, saying his "wires...

Todd Palin E-Mails Joe Miller, Orders Him To Endorse Wife For President

Oh no! It's the Mama Grizzly's husband, Anger Bear! "Sarah spent all morning working on a Face book post for Joe, she won't use it, not now." Aww, the poor thing, slaving away on a status update for someone...

Bill Clinton Calls Bachmann ‘Stupid,’ Helps Bachmann Smartly Raise Money

Bill Clinton showed up in Minnesota the other night to do a fundraiser for Tarryl Clark. As reported by Joe Conason, he didn't have nicest words for our pal and Clark's opponent Michele Bachmann. Or, as Bachmann put it...

John Kerry Is a Master of Puns

You are very relevant, John Kerry. And you are very Del-Aware (!) of that.

Yep, Alvin Greene Asked Your Wonkette To Make Him a Website

When one reads the subject line "From Alvin Greene's advisors," one is startled. What's it like to receive an e-mail from the ten thousand things? How does one read a message written by the wind? But we were a...

Nikki Haley Can Never Get Around To Doing Her Taxes

South Carolina gubernatorial nominee Nikki Haley is best known for being a Republican MINORITY and being accused of having sex with people. But also: "Haley, a fiscal conservative and tea party favorite, cites her experience as an accountant on...

Last Dregs of John Kerry’s Power Used For Baseball Thing

In 2004, when "the Internets" was a fresh joke reference, Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry amassed an e-mail list of millions of people. He still has this list, so occasionally he sends messages to people's old work e-mail accounts...

Michael Steele Has A New Slogan!

STAININ' THE CONTITUTION WITH RED INK HAHAHAH. Congrats, Michael Steele. You have gotten your first elitist coastie/commie blogger to take the bait and use proper editing marks to red-ink the Contitution. Maybe liberals deserve to lose this November, after...