Tag: Duck Dynasty

Salt-Of-The-Earth Trump Racist Stephen Miller Lives In VERY SEXXXY ‘COSMOPOLITAN BIAS’ DC DIGS!

Stephen Miller is JUST LIKE YOU, deplorable Trump supporters!

Awwww, Big Man Donald Trump Thinks He Could Beat Joe Biden In A Fight!

Call us crazy, but we think Old Handsome Joe Biden's got this one.

Super Smart Trump Campaign Manager Accidentally Admits Her Boss Is A Criminal LOL OMG WTF

Did Donald Trump do crime in Cuba? Of course he did, says his campaign manager Kellyanne Conway!

Rich Person Phil Robertson: Flood Victims Should Just Move If They Don’t Like The Water

The founders NEVER would have wanted to help flood victims, Robertson says.

Phil Robertson Wants To Be Trump’s Spiritual Advisor, Has Some Real Neat Ideas

He says we could stop ISIS from killing Americans if only we outlawed abortion!

Checkmate, Atheists! Duck Dynasty Dude Says Jesus Existed Because Calendars

Noted public intellectual Phil Robertson, of the Duck Dynasty Robertsons, spoke at the Western Conservative Summit in Denver this weekend, and there he laid down a very strong argument for the historical existence of Jesus. Did he bring up...

FBI Refuses To Imprison Hillary Clinton For Being History’s Greatest Email Monster

Hooray, all the Hillary Clinton scandals are over now, until the GOP makes up some new ones!
blood meridian 2015

Walmart Knows Where It Wants Trans Folks To Make Toilet, But Shhhhhh, It’s A Secret!

Walmart doesn't have the stones to say where boys without stones or girls with them should drop their kids off at the pool.

Ted Cruz’s Stupid Face Punchable Even When He’s Crying

Ted Cruz mimics human emotion. It doesn't go well.

Phil Robertson Dumbfounded You Idiots Are Mistaking His ‘Common Sense’ For ‘Bigotry’

Hey! Here is a big surprise! Phil Robertson is once again mad that people think he is a bigot just because he is obstinately devoted to his own prejudices and would prefer to treat the members of a certain...

Bristol Palin Knows Who Has A Penis And Who Has A Vagina

It was just another day at the office at Bristol Palin Writin' Stuff Real Good Industries, LLC. Bristol was mad, because her personal assistant had gotten her lunch order wrong. Two KFC Double Downs, a bottle of Boone's Farm...

Donald Trump Doesn’t Care Where You Pee, As Long As Your Stream Is TREMENDOUS

You guys, Donald Trump, crazy wild-haired circus elephant currently on track to receive the Republican presidential nomination, is correct about a thing. WHOA IF TRUE. And it is true! He told the "Today" show man Matt Lauer that North...
What? This .gif is totally relevant, NO YOU SHUT UP.

South Dakota Governor Doesn’t Want To Peek At Kids’ Junk In The Bathroom For Some Reason

In February we told you about a whole passel of lesbogaygender-hatin' bills being considered in the great state of South Dakota. And for once, we can report that there is GOOD NEWS about one of those bills, specifically HB...
Glamour Shots, maybe.

Dumb Duck Dynasty Dude Wants All The Queer-Lovers Dead, We Guess

It's been a while since we've had a legit reason to check in with Phil Robertson, the boy matriarch of the "Duck Dynasty" teevee family (motto: Like the Duggars, but furrier!). And breaking news, but he still hates him...
His legacy shredded.

New Louisiana Governor Will Fill Bobby Jindal’s Seat With So Much Gayness

Elections matter, y'all. With term-limited Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal leaving office to spend more time begging the Duck Dynasty guys to let him be one of their white friends, voters had a choice: Do we pick that nice gay-hatin'...
No sex, no football career boo hoo hoo.

Tim Tebow Will Not Do Home Runs To Sexy Girlfriend Ladies

Tim Tebow is so good at football that nobody will let him play, probably because they're intimidated. (Haha, just kidding, they won't let him play because he is bad at footballing.) If you'll remember, he's sort of a hero...