Tag: derp

This oughta be GOOD

Let’s Get Waco Biker Gangs To Shoot Up The Muslims, How About That?

It takes a special kind of mind to look at the madness of Sunday's Great Big Waco Biker Massacre and see an opportunity for directing all that hatred elsewhere, which is why we admire the ingenuity of this brilliant...
The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Will Murder The ATF And Its Jackbooted Thugs

Emboldened by last week's victory for the rights of gun-humpers to be able to ALSO be able to hump bullets, Field Marshall Sarah Palin presses forward. She has offered the Kenyan tyrant Obama clear and simple terms: abolish the Bureau of...
That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talkin' guy.

Florida Tries To Ban Teen Sexting, Forgets One Small Detail

Florida’s brilliant legislature was in such a rush to get tough on sexxxy teens sending hawt newd pix to one another that they forgot to make their law enforceable in court. Oops! Earlier this week, the Fourth District Court of...
Hide your eyes, here comes the derp

Morning Maddow: The Moon Is A Planet! No, It’s A Star! Is It A Star? (Video)

This may be the goofiest thing the Maddow Show has ever run. On the QVC shopping channel, host Shawn Killinger and designer Isaac Mizrahi got into a debate over the true nature of the moon, after Killinger remarked that...
Turn that poo-face upside down, Sarah.

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker

When the Grifter Queen of The Last Frontier announced the creation of her own website/TV channel, we laughed along with the rest of you. "It's just a way to make a quick buck, and she'll probably quit halfway through,...

Sovereign Citizen Hipster Musicians Hand-Wrote Their License Plate Before It Was Cool

Here's how dedicated Dustin Rosondich and Xylie Eshleman are to their Sovereign Citizen beliefs: They reject the label "sovereign citizen," because if you're a "citizen, then that means the government owns you, man: “What we are, is we’re Americans,” Eshleman...

Sovereign Citizen Guy Will Protect Us All From The Unending Tyranny Of Traffic Enforcement

Let's face it: the sovereign citizen movement is generally either stupid or terrifying or both, so no one should be surprised to learn about this super cool sovereign citizen guy from Indiana who is just stone cold stomping around...

Mitch McConnell Will Keep Government Out Of Kentucky’s Exchange When He Repeals Obamacare

Let's just not tell Mitch McConnell where he went wrong here, OK? It would be more fun that way. You see, he's pledging that when he becomes Senate Majority Leader next year, he's going to repeal Obamacare SO HARD....

Bradlee Dean Makes Up History Again, Says Dirty Commies Invented The Word ‘Racism’ So There’s No Such Thing

Wonkette frenemy and weird child-thrashing advocate Bradlee Dean just wants you all to know that he is not bothered by all you dumb liberal bigots calling him a bigot, and he has studied up on these matters. On his...

Deleted Comments Of The Day: I Guess This Is Your Idea Of ‘Creative Writing?’

Can anyone doubt that Wonkette's Own Gary Legum has earned himself an appointment to the Jim Newell Memorial Chair in Peggy Noonan Studies? Apparently, someone can, and that someone is irate Accipitriform-American reader "HMichaelHAWK," who had this to say...

Allen West Wishes Barack Obama Would Try Being More Black For A Change

Professional conservative victim Allen West took to Fox News yesterday to condemn the incredible insensitivity and unspeakable atrocity of a "despicable, demeaning, and disgusting" email by Florida congressman Alan Grayson that compared the Tea Party to the KKK. West,...

We Are All Going To Feel Pretty Stupid When Barack Obama Really Does Nuke Charleston, South Carolina

Wow, did you hear about how Barack Hussein Obama completely lost his mind and fired a bunch of generals a couple weeks ago, after they refused to drop nukes on Charleston, South Carolina? IT'S COMPLETELY TRUE, we read it...

Ted Cruz Birther Too Stupid Even For Erick Erickson’s RedState

Ted Cruz birther David Farrar has a sad, guys. He's been kicked off wingnut website Redstate.com, presumably because Erick Erickson is a fascist who can't stand to have the ugly truth about Ted Cruz exposed: Ted Cruz was born...

Texas Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst Finds Campaign Issue, Calls For Obama Impeachment

At a Tea Party meeting Monday night at a Lutheran church in Fort Worth, Texas Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst, who is running for re-election, called for the impeachment of President Barack Obama. This is now apparently something that lieutenant...
No, no... I really don't think Hillary's a lesbian. I mean, I'd know, right?

Wingnut Can’t Wait For 2016 To Tell Everyone What A Lezzie Slut Hillary Is, And Bill Is Not Even Chelsea’s Dad Either

Some days the Wonkette tipline brings in an abundance of pure batshit craziness, but seldom does quite such a large helping of it arrive in a single dose like the incredibly long email we received over the weekend from...

Nebraska Rep. Lee Terry Sings The Very Sorry Song For Liking His Gummint Money So Much

Nebraska congresscritter Lee Terry,* who last week defiantly explained that unlike other people, he needs his congressional paycheck even during the government shutdown, has seen the light, thanks to the help of the Omaha World-Herald in sharing with the...