Tag: darth vader

BRING IT, SUCKER

GOP Congressdude Wants To Chop Off Elizabeth Warren’s Balls

Know what's a Not Nice thing to say to a human lady who ain't got no boy testes? That you want to "neuter" her. It's not even scientifically accurate, #ScienceFact! But that's what some grass-chewing congressdick from Missouri named...
Sadly, no undead mummies in this one

Your Weekend Nerdout: Yes, We’ll Watch This Movie About Elvis Meeting Nixon

Happy weekending, our nerdly brothers and sisters! How About we do a Nerdout that only has one Star Wars story in it for a change? Weird, huh? Let's get to nerding. Elvis & Nixon: Ultimate Crimefighting Duo of 1970 Things we...

Ted Cruz Is Not The Darth Vader Impersonator You Were Looking For

Ted Cruz has analyzed the blueprints for Obamacare, and determined that a Derpon torpedo fired into the well of the Senate has the potential to create a chain reaction that will... um... raise funds for his 2016 presidential run,...

Are We There Yet? Ted Cruz FINALLY Shuts Up Whining About Obamacare

After sleeping and dreaming of Canadians stabbing our ears with nasal whining, we unfortunately woke up to Ted Cruz still rambling on the teevee, somewhat incoherently, about how Obamacare is the love child of a threesome between the Plague,...

Mitt Romney/Notorious Psychopath Dick Cheney 2012!

Mitt Romney is struggling desperately to shore up his lagging popularity with the far right-wing base of teabagger idiots who still harbor a delusional nostalgia for the shadow presidency years when Dick Cheney spent actual trillions of dollars driving...

Dick Cheney Explains Why He Loves Torture (Because He Is Darth Vader)

Evil zombie Dick Cheney came back from the dead recently to hack up a book, mostly as a courtesy to the hobos pillaging Borders stores across the country, who would otherwise go without the materials needed to kindle their...

Will Killing of Obi-Wan Kenobi Encourage More Terrorism?

Despite the official story claiming Obi-Wan Kenobi was killed by our forces after being located in a remote desert compound after twenty years of evading the Empire, many people simply don't believe Kenobi is gone. Others doubt the timing...

Ha Ha, ‘May the Fourth’ Be With You, Etc.

Did you know it's "Star Wars Day" here on Earth? Yeah, ha ha, it is a funny wordplay thing -- IF YOU ARE A LISPING DINGUS -- because it's May 4, so you can say, "May the Fourth Be...

Most Americans Hate Government, Democracy Itself

Important cable teevee station CNN has commissioned two (2) polls of the Americans, and the results are bad for the Tea Baggers' beloved "U.S. Constitution" and "Democracy," so it's a good thing those people don't actually like either of...

A Video Of Darth Vader Ringing Bell Of New York Stock Exchange? Sure

It is just that kind of news day, apparently! Anyway no one worry about the economy anymore.

George W. Bush Shows Some Dignity

Remember the guy who used to be president? Yeah, him! Well, it's going to take a little more than showing a bit of polite restraint if he wants forgiveness for ... well, pretty much everything between November of 2000...

Presumptuous Obama Photographed With Washington, Jesus

Oh here's Mr. Teleprompter Snob, the president, who apparently thinks he's president or something, the way he is photographed here in a common business suit. But who's that hovering over his shoulder? Sure, it's the real president from the...

Dick Cheney Torturing Animals Now