Tag: college

Donald Trump Forgot The Name ‘White House.’ Wonkagenda For Tues., April 3, 2018

Paul Manafort is under Mueller's magnifying glass, Scott Pruitt somehow gets even more sleazy, and good LORD Donald Trump is fuckin' dumb. Your morning news brief.

Working Hard Or Hardly … Eh, It’s Trump, What Do You Want. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Dec. 28, 2017

Trump tries to take credit for Obama's legacy, Roy Moore about to officially lose (again), and Donald Trump is ... GOLFING??? THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT!!! Your morning news brief.

Google Playing For The GOP. Wonkagenda For Fri., Oct. 27, 2017

Google has MORE splaining to do, Republicans try to pee all over THE DOSSIER, and Mark Halperin is SUPER gross. Your morning news brief!
He is so S-M-R-T and dreamy

Paul Ryan Pledged ‘Kappa Delta Let Poor People Die’ In College

It's good to have a dream. Unless it's an evil dream. Then that's just evil.

Republicans Blow $1 Million On Attack Ad Yelling ‘Nerrrd!!’ At Dem House Candidate

This 'Star Wars' themed attack ad is little more than Bantha poodoo.

Ivanka Trump’s Unpaid Interns Want To Tell Other Interns How To Live Fabulously Poor

Ivanka Trump keeps domestic slaves to make her website look fancy.

Hillary Clinton’s Tech Plan Will Make All Your Kids Nerds

We told Dom to ding Hillary's plan where necessary. He gave it a blowjob instead. INTERNS!

Christian College Officially No Longer Has To Deal With Gross Professor Who’s Nice To Muslims

Time for an Official Wonkette update on a story we brought you weeks back, about a political science professor from Illinois's Wheaton College, Larycia Hawkins, and her nasty proclivity for acting like Muslims are not only human beings, but also...

Michelle Obama Doing Gangsta Rap Again

Oh, that Michelle Obama is at it again! She has been the scourge of wingnuts for years now, saying they should be healthy and drink water and eat vegetables instead of whatever cheesy fried butt lard they usually eat. And in...
Ew gay.

Tennessee College Gets To Boot Pregnant Homos, Keep Its Precious Taxpayer Moneys

Carson-Newman University, a little Southern Baptist school in Jefferson City, Tennessee, ain't 'bout ta cotton to none 'a them queers and their pregnant slut friends. And yay, the federal government says it doesn't have to, even though it receives...

Idiot Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore Will Represent Boobs And Guns In Congress!

Of all the broken-braineded local politicking idiot teabagger ladies, Michele "That's One L" Fiore is our favorite. She's an assemblywoman in Nevada, and she came onto the scene just as Michele "The other one L" Bachmann was breaking our...

Rand Paul Wants You To Just Say No To Heroin, Book-Learnin’

Dr. Rand Paul has put a pin in his prissy plaints about his dressing room not being fancy-pants enough to dole out some real good advice to the kids these days: The main thing I would say is that nothing’s...
Sexytime Jesus Vacation

Uh Oh, Looks Like Dumb Duggar Kids Don’t Have Proper License To Win Souls For Jesus

Jill Duggar Dillard and her husband, Arranged Husband Dillard (his name is "Derick"), are supposedly missionaries in Central America. You remember -- we reported on how their Beliebers were all mad about how it sure LOOKS like they're using...
Lance Sanderson, with gay stripes all over him.

Catholic School Sends Gay Boy Home For A Week To Think About How Gay He’s Been

Remember that kid from Memphis, Gay Lance Something-Or-Other? If you don't, NO, he did not build a clock, that boy was a Muslim, not a gay! Lance Sanderson is a senior at a Catholic boys' school called Christian Brothers,...
It's people! Chris Christie EATS PEOPLE! (#2 in a series)

Chris Christie Locks Down Voters Who Love Student Loan Debt

Chris Christie knows how he'd win a presidential election between himself and Bernie Sanders, just in case that particular combination comes up: Let the free market fix everything, the way it always does. Ha! That'll teach Bernie Sanders, with...
Oh, we get it, it's about date rape-type stuff!

People Seem To Think Bud Light Slogan Is Rapey, Just Because It’s Really Rapey

Earth's most generic light beer, Bud Light, has been doing an ad campaign that they think is oh so hip, lately, to try to get beer-pong playing, dildo-brained college kids to upgrade from Natty Light and drink THEIR piss...