Stupid Europe and the rest of the world won't buy coal because they hate our freedom and respiratory diseases.
Trump brings back Christmas, Bannon goes to war, Trump can't wait to 'You're Fired' SCOTUS Democrats. Your morning news brief.
Look, no one's actually USING the atmosphere, are they?
Trump gets official with his trans ban, fossil fuel companies aren't even trying anymore, and Kushner properties are throwing people in debtors' prison. Your morning news brief!
Trump holds another rally, the military is holding everything together, and the NRA wants to kill all the cute critters. Your morning news brief!
If science gets in the way of profits, it's obviously biased science.
We're going back to Afghanistan (again), Paul Ryan is full of sadz, and Steve Mnuchin's Bourgeois Barbie lets her haters eat cake. Your morning news brief.
Trump-Russia is getting CRAZY, House Freedom Crazies want another crack at the ACA, and the NRA finally has words on Philando Castile. Your morning news brief!
Maybe we could sell higher teacher salaries and smaller classes as vital for National Defense.
Trump STILL doesn't understand the nuclear triad, James O'Keefe shoots himself (again), and Benghazi's back (again). Your morning news brief!
Respectfully submitted: go fuck yourself, Bob.
All industry wants is a place at the table. And to own the table. And to charge rent for the other places...
Trump tries to trickle down on the poors, Republicans try to kill Medicaid, and Alex Jones is being sued for yogurt libel! Your morning news brief!
Donald Trump completes his hostile takeover of the GOP, Kansas goes to the polls, and President Bannon tells Breitbart to be nice to Jared. Your morning news brief!
If this is paradise, I wish I had a lawnmower.
Congress trashes TrumpCare, Trump dumps Bannon, and Valdimir Putin HATES being called a gay clown! Your morning news brief!