Tag: cincinnati

Donald Trump Says Bunch Of Dumb Shit While Stock Market Plunges. Look, Kittens!

If Monday was any indication, we're in for another weird week.

Unemployment Drops Again, Trump Has Good Economy To Wreck! Your Wonkagenda For Friday, December 2, 2016

Kellyanne Conway can't stop crying, Trump's big league illegal immigration problem, and Webster's requests more words. Your daily news brief!
Which one's the moderate?

Trump’s Victory Thank You Tour Marching Into Cincinnati, Will Annex Sudetenland

Donald Trump's going on tour. Why? Who needs a reason? He loves rallies.
Should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque

Jill Stein Shows Up In Wrong City For Speech, Airplanes Clearly In The Tank For Hillary

Mama said there'd be days like this.
Who needs notes? Not Donald Trump

Donald Trump Airs His Grievances: The Media (Who Are Probably Jooz)

Donald Trump would like to tell you a thing he knows about the Jews.

Rush Limbaugh Explains How That Big Gorilla’s Death Disproves Evolution, OBVIOUSLY

Who is stupider? Rush Limbaugh or the people who listen to him?
Can we agree that the baby being OK is a good thing? Maybe we can agree on that.

Shooting Of Gorilla At Cincinnati Zoo Prompts Humans To Fling Poop At Other Humans

A three-year-old boy fell into a gorilla exhibit at the Cincinnati Zoo Saturday, and after a 400-pound male Western lowland silverback gorilla grabbed the child, zookeepers shot the endangered animal dead. The boy was rescued and reportedly unharmed. The...
"Tough shit," sayeth the Lord.

Kim Davis Begs God To Set Her Free LOL

C'mon, gov'nah! If Kim Davis PROMISES to be as big A Idiot as she was being before, and if she PROMISES not to obey any of the court's earlier orders, and if she PROMISES to continue trying to be...

Cincinnati Campus Cop Actually Charged With Murdering Black Guy On Camera, Weird

It's not every day that you see a prosecutor describe a cop's deadly actions as "a senseless, asinine shooting." But that's what Hamilton County prosecuting attorney Joseph T. Deters called the killing of Samuel Dubose, who was shot to...
Not a pussy.

Bobby Jindal Will Talk Gun Violence, Soon As He’s Done Giving The NRA This Rimjob

Bobby Jindal, craven asshole: Despite the fact that John Russell Houser had a long history of mental illness and arrests but was able to legally purchase a .40 caliber semi-automatic handgun at a pawn shop, Governor Bobby Jindal repeatedly told...
The second "m" is for "my that's dumb"

Kroger Execs Flee From Open Carry Nuts, Still Welcome Them In Their Stores

In August, Moms Demand Action For Gun Sense began pressuring Kroger, the nation's largest supermarket chain, to revise its policy of letting insecure manchildren carry loaded guns in their stores. Now the confrontation is getting delightfully wacky: Counter-protesters are flashing...

Derp Roundup: Tiger Selfies, Responsible Howitzer Owners, And Open Carry Guitars

Welcome to another Derp Roundup, the feature where we turn a pressure-washer on our browser tabs and skim off the weird, just for you. Please read responsibly and do not operate heavy machinery while under the influence of Derp. Our...

Republicans Close To Deciding Which Character-Free Hellhole Of A City They Will Invade In 2016

The Republican National Committee is busy narrowing down the list of potential host cities for its 2016 convention. Last week the list dropped by two, with Cincinnati and Las Vegas dropping their bids; Cincinnati because, well, Cincinnati, and Vegas...

Derp Roundup: Your Weekend Wade Through The Wasteland

Greetings, worthly wokette skum, and welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, our weekly barf bag of bits and bytes that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite enough to do a full post on. This week,...

Ohio Tea Party Group: Public Transit Still Worse Than 9/11

This Ohio Tea Party group "COAST" (note: Ohio geography fail) would on a normal old wingnut day probably tweet something less terrorism-y and more creative like, "Hitler had sex with dogs on public streetcars, THEY SHUD B DEFUNDED" but,...