YOU GUYS. IT IS MY BIRTHDAY. GIVE US ALL THE MONEY TO GO TO THE MARCH THING, WITH THE TEENS, FOR NO GUNS.
Oh look, it's Paul Manafort running away with bags of money again! Catch him!
First they came for everybody, and we are now a country that deports The Troops.
Republicans are about to shutdown the government (again), LA Times publisher is a big bag of dicks, and Fusion GPS told Congress Trump-Russia worse than we thought. Your morning news brief.
There were many good newses that we couldn't get to this year.
Trump tries to take credit for Obama's legacy, Roy Moore about to officially lose (again), and Donald Trump is ... GOLFING??? THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT!!! Your morning news brief.
Is Robert Mueller about to flip a guy? What will Trump and Putin talk about this time? And Trump gets practice in presidential pardons. Your morning news brief.
Donald Trump says no firearm safety laws could have helped in Texas. The Air Force's failure to report the shooter's domestic violence conviction suggests otherwise.
Not that I have any regrets.
Trump is ready to explode, California's burning to the sea, and ESPN shits the bed (again). Your morning news brief.
Your morning news brief will talk about everything, and is not changing the subject.
Puerto Rico gets worse, MOAR Trumpkin air traffic control, and Jared Kushner has an email problem! Your morning news brief.
It's Labor Day! Go watch 'Norma Rae' ... Or maybe 'Office Space.'
Military talks at Camp David, more Confederate statues fall, and neo-Nazis get banhammerd from the Internet. Your morning news brief!
Trump is mad at people telling him what to do, Bannon is showboating, and Trump's lawyer fires off a creepy racist email. Your morning news brief.
Republicans are writing love letters (and checks) to Mike Pence, the CIA won't drink Trump's Kool-Aid, businesses sour on Trump. Your morning news brief!