Tag: cars

Volvo Goes Electric Like Bob Dylan, A Headline Joke For Fellow Olds

Crazy Swedes, acting like businesses should adapt to global warming.
I say, if you'd just develop a work ethic young man, you could be rich. What ho, have a tuppence and don't spend it all at once.

Cartoon JPMorgan Plutocrat Says Let Them Eat iPhones

Jamie Dimon, the CEO of JPMorgan Chase (not a typo, actually), would like everyone to stop bitching about "income inequality," which is not a thing at all. The financier feels just as equal as anyone on his corporate jet,...
Kam Brock. She says she has a BMW. She does have a BMW. What a headcase!

Black Lady Sent To Mental Hospital For Saying She Drives A BMW. Whatever, Crazy Lady!

Oh hi, we are here with another dispatch from America, land of the Racism Is Totally Over, Yep, You Bet. It's a story as old as Phyllis Schlafly. Black lady by the name of Kamilah Brock ("Kam" for short)...

Pope Tells Priests And Nuns To Drive More Boring Cars

Oh, man, New Pope is doing that thing again, where he says stuff that makes us like him even if he is that head of a big corrupt institution that does evilnasty things. But we give him credit for...

Wonkette’s Teen Corner For Teenz: ‘Wheels Of Tragedy’ Edition

Summer has rolled up on us once again, and with it comes a dire threat. Like shark fins slicing through a sea of metal roofs, the plastic cheese wedges of inexperience are becoming a common sight on the roads....

What Are Your Modern Job-Creating Economic Libertarian Supermen Driving Today?

This 2008-2011 model Ford Focus SES spotted in downtown Detroit probably doesn't belong to the real John Galt, the one with a verified Twitter account or whatever. The real John Galt's car would have that magic static electricity motor....

Mitt Romney’s Modest ‘Manse’ Now Has a Car Elevator, Lobbyist

Mitt Romney's small cottage in La Jolla is in the process of renovation, and the aggrandizing of this piece of real estate is such an important issue for the future of this nation that there is actually a guy...

Tucker Carlson’s ‘Daily Caller’ Does Yeoman’s Service In Refuting Dumb Right-Wing Freakout — UPDATED!

UPDATED! CORRECTION BELOW! Perhaps you were alive and sentient and cruising around stupid hack rightwing websites sometime in the last few days when you noticed that they all lost their collective shit because totally un-American (Yellow Peril) Secretary of Energy,...

Why Is Obama Making Allen West Pay $70 To Refill His Hummer?

Gas prices are surging to record prices again! This is great news for Satan and everyone else rooting against an actual economic recovery. For the rest of us though, ugh, and not just because of the unwelcome siphoning of...

Harry Reid Injured By Stationary Car

Sure, everyone, talk about Osama bin Laden all you want, just ignore that Harry Reid ALSO ALMOST DIED this morning. Whatever would this country do if Harry Reid was not the Senate majority leader? Replace him with Chuck Schumer...

Highway Bureaucrats: Drugged Up Drivers Crash and Die a Lot

One-third of all drivers who die in automobile accidents test positive for some kind of drug, and "the presence of all types of drugs in fatal crashes has increased 5 percent in the past five years," according to the...

Obama Begs South Korea To Buy Gross Beef At Sinister G-20 Summit

Barack Obama met with other Muslim world leaders in South Korea for the infamous G-20 economic summit, which is sort of like Bohemian Grove except Alex Jones is actually invited. (Who else is going to negotiate favorable Prison Planet...

RedState Angry It’s ‘Still’ Not ‘Allowed To Make a Racial Slur’ About Obama

As soon as we see a black person in a position of power, we all immediately turn to utter a racial slur about this person, right? You guys know what we're talking about! Black people are scary! YET, RedState...

McCain Voters Killing Everyone Nonstop With Their Drunk Driving

Hey, remember in 2008 when you voted for America's Next Top President? Many people voted for "Barack Obama" but also a reasonable number of folks voted "John McCain" (Yours Truly voted for "Bart Simpson," the real candidate of Change)....

Chrysler Woos Tea Partiers With Awesome George Washington Fan Fiction

Remember when Chrysler was America's #3 car company, run by the can-do fraudery of Lee Iacocca, and not some terrible money pit owned in equal parts by Barack Obama and the Italians? Now it is exactly the sort...

Does Health Care Make You Sick? Sign Steve King’s Online Petition

Steve King is going to repeal Obamacare with his magical "discharge petition," which is a fancy Robert's Rules term for "boners." Rashad Hussain, America’s special envoy to the Organization for the Islamic Conference, called Barack Obama, "America’s Educator-in-Chief on...