Expelling Russian spies? Big whoop. Call us when they sanction Putin's ass.
All your base are belong to Russia, someone threatened Stormy Daniels, and DJTJ gets a divorce. Your morning news brief.
All politicians lie. Donald Trump lies about how awesome his lies are, because they're actually true. Which is a lie.
Trump tries to silence his witnesses, Kris Kobach gets schooled in court, and Florida might actually pass some gun control. Your morning news brief.
Are the Olympic judges fucking kidding right now?
Trump dumps the UN, Democrats gear up for 2018, and Ivanka's money laundering problem. Your morning news brief.
Can Wonkette be serious for one fucking second? Not today, Satan.
If a post is about guns, the Catholic church, or vaccines, you can bet it'll keep getting weird comments for years.
WHY THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE?
This is the most fucked up thing you'll read today. Until later, probably.
Trump tax plan is here, Kushnerville strikes back, and Democrats LURV Puerto Rico. Your morning news brief.
We're living in a dystopian sci-fi novel now. Watch out for C.H.U.D.s.
Our story on the Memphis vegan restaurant that had a severe outbreak of vegan baby butthole was, understandably, our top story of the week, and like any piece that goes viral, it generated a lot of new traffic, including...
The exorcism ceremony wasn't included in the price. Also it's your OPEN THREAD!
Who among us doesn't want to be squeezed by Justin Trudeau like this?