Tag: bryan fischer

How can we miss you if you won't go away?

Bryan Fischer Was Not Fired From Wingnut Central For Saying Any Of The Following

When we heard the news last night that Bryan Fischer was fired by the American Patriarchy Association, our first thought was that it couldn't have happened to a nicer wingnut. Our second thought was that this could be really...
this one might be a problem for the GOP

Morning Maddow: American Family Association Fires Most Embarrassing Hater Bryan Fischer

Rachel Maddow had a gen-you-wine old fashioned Big News Scoop in her Wednesday show. The larger story's a little convoluted, but the really terrific news is right up there in the headline, kids: wingnut preacher Bryan Fischer has been...
Dangerous radicals

Wingers Demand Ginsburg, Kagan Recuse Selves From Gay Marriage Case, Go Play Softball

The American Patriarchy Association, fronted by spokescreep Bryan Fischer, is calling for Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Elena Kagan to recuse themselves from the Supreme Court's upcoming case on same-sex marriage because they're entirely too biased on the issue....
S-M-R-T

Ted Cruz Will Fix Constitution So Judges Can’t Gay Us Anymore

With the Supreme Court cramming the civilization-wrecking horror of gay marriage down America's throat until it tickled our epiglottis and coated our larynx with sweet, milky equality, we were expecting waves of hysterical overreactions from wingnuts everywhere. Sure, there were...
Meat your maker

Internet Heroes Defend Vermont’s Bacon From Evil Muslim-Vegan Assault

Back in August, Sneakers, a little bistro in Winooski, Vermont, put a little mock traffic sign in the flower bed in front of the restaurant: “Yield for Sneakers Bacon.” It wasn't especially well-received by a woman who posted a...
Not the REAL Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman Is Your For Real Based On A True Story Feminist Superhero

We got us some teevee news, some how-we-can-save-the-planet-for-free-with-SCIENCE! news, all kinds of feminism up in here (#RIPpatriarchy) ... plus bacon. Our little sister site Happy Nice Time People talks about chicks in the teevee bidness: Looking at primetime broadcast television, a record percentage...
The look of love / is in your eyes / The look your smile can't disguise...

Rick Santorum And Bryan Fischer Share Sweaty Fantasies About Banning ‘Secularism’ From Schools

Two of America's greatest professional Oppressed Christians, the American Patriarchy Association's Bryan Fischer and Totally Serious Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum, came together Thursdayto bemoan the sorry state of our once great nation, etc. Fischer interviewed Santorum on the AFA's...

Bryan Fischer Wishes Michelle Obama Would Do Something About All These Husky Lesbians

Bryan Fischer, his finger ever on the pulse of the American zeitgeist (assuming that the American zeitgeist is far up his own ass, which we have no reason to doubt), is not going to make fun of a National...
Sorry about that. America's full, you see.

Congratulations, Deport-The-Kids Patriots! Kids Returned To Honduras, Killed.

Some inspiring news for the deport-everyone-immediately crowd today: According to a Los Angeles Times report, "at least five, and as many as 10, of the 42 children" who have been killed in criminal violence in Honduras since February had...
Dear Jesus, please send a really good defense

Rick Perry Indicted, Must Now Resign According to Rick Perry

Considering that the past week was basically terrible, awful, THE WORST EVER, it's nice that we were treated to this delightful Friday night news dump that Gov. Rick Perry (R-Can't Remember) is facing up to a century of prison time...

Sky News Reporter Gives You Plane Crash News You Can Use By Ransacking Dead Child’s Luggage

Ever since the Malaysian airliner was shot down by a surface-to-air missile on Thursday, so very many people have used it as an opportunity to be terrible. See, for example, Wonkette hate favorite Bryan Fischer, who is pretty sure...

Bryan Fischer Thinking Good Thoughts About AIDS Researchers Dying On Plane. No, Really. He’s Thinking ‘Good’

Three hundred-ish people died on the Malaysian Airlines flight shot down over the Ukraine yesterday. A good number of them were on their way to Australia for an AIDS research conference. Some were activists; many were doctors and scientists....

Bryan Fischer Explains: God Can’t Stand These Awful Immigrant Children

Oh, thank goodness! American Patriarchy Association radio figurehead Bryan Fischer has weighed in on the Send the Children Away Crisis, and just wants everyone to know that Jesus would want those little would-be moochers sent home pronto, and possibly...

Bryan Fischer Blessed My Hot Gay Marriage

Yr Wonkette is pleased to bring you a special guest bloogpost by longtime commenter ElviouslyQueer. And congratulations, EQ! What has your intrepid correspondent, the beloved Elviouslyqueer, been up to this weekend? GLAD YOU ASKED! I was in Minnesota, at the...

American Family Association Presents Best Hobby Lobby Poll Ever

The American Patriarchy Association didn't want to leave anything to chance with its poll about the Supreme Court's decision in the Hobby Lobby case, so it gave readers a choice between being excited that God answered their prayers (and...

American Family Association Will Not Touch Harvey Milk Stamps For Fear Of Catching Gay Cooties

The American Family Association, home of perpetual source of Wonkette material Bryan Fischer, is most put out by the United States Postal Service right now. Did the USPS fail to deliver the donations grifted out of uneducated rubes that...