Tag: bristol palin

Bundy Boys Or Bristol Palin, Who Is The Dumbest? Your Weekly Top Ten

OH HEY WONKERS, WHAT IS SHAKING? We are fine, thank you for asking. So, it's Saturday and that means it's time for your weekly Top Ten list, which is full of all the bestest stories you clicked on the mostest,...

Bristol Palin Knows Who Has A Penis And Who Has A Vagina

It was just another day at the office at Bristol Palin Writin' Stuff Real Good Industries, LLC. Bristol was mad, because her personal assistant had gotten her lunch order wrong. Two KFC Double Downs, a bottle of Boone's Farm...
Oh christ, she's TRYING to be funny...

Sarah Palin Right About Thing, When Thing = ‘Don’t Wish Gang-Rape On Sarah Palin’

<a href="http://wonkette.com/599566/half-term-governor-says-half-term-senator-too-inexperienced-to-be-half-term-president"></a>Never say that Wonkette is not fair to Sarah Palin. Oh yeah, we are usually making hilarious jokes about how she quits everything and she's a giant grifter and she can't talk good, and maybe if she spent...
Portrait of the idiot in her natural surroundings.

Brawlin’ Bristol Palin Wishes ‘Battered’ Breitbart Chick Would Grow Some Stones

Bristol Palin rolled out of bed around 2 in the afternoon, noticed a lump under the covers and wondered if the angel Gabriel had drunk-sexted another gift from God up into her Alaskan Shame Cavern. "Eh, pretty much like...
Sarah Palin calculates in her head how many of Bristol's "chances" will turn into out-of-wedlock babies.

Sarah Palin So Happy Donald Trump’s Jewish Grandbaby Born On Easter, Just Like Jesus!

OK SPOILER ALERT, we know Jesus wasn't born on Easter, first of all. But does Sarah Palin know that? Well He sure did something that day, over there in Nazareth, otherwise why did we hide the moose eggs all...
No sir, she doesn't like it!

Sarah Palin Will Be Half-Term TV Judge Of Whether He Wrong For That Or You Just Hatin’

Sarah Palin is a planner. Do you know how you're going to be grifting off your mouthbreathing fans in the fall of 2017? Sarah Palin does, dontcha know, because she's got #billz to pay. And Sarah knows, from all her...

Sarah Palin Nurses Husband Back To Health By Drunk-Stumping For Trump In Florida

Todd Palin, née Half-Term First Dude née Mr. Mrs. Sarah Palin, had a accident on his snow machine, and it sounded real bad. So bad, in fact, that we interrupted our regular programming, of snorting and snickering at the...
Turn that poo-face upside down, Sarah.

Half-Term Governor Says Half-Term Senator Too Inexperienced To Be Half-Term President

Shut the front door right now, Sarah Palin, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Oh, we see, your moose chili bubbleth over with rage over that inexperienced "half-term" Canadian-Cuban Senator Ted Cruz, because he was mean to stupid Trump supporters...
Ecce Pistolium

Bristol Palin Delighted By How Well Kids And Guns Play Together

Bristol Palin, the Little Flower of Uninformed Commentary, has some thoughts about an "experiment" done by a TV station -- so you know it has excellent research value! -- about kids-n-guns. Waterloo, Iowa teevee station KWWL did a little...

Ted Cruz Wins Paternity Test For Heart Of Bristol Palin’s Second Deadbeat Baby Daddy

While the maggot-infested trash heap that is the Palin family is drunk-brawlin' for Trump, there's one almost-member of the clan who's got a taste for Canadian bacon: Today, the Cruz for President campaign announced the endorsement of Medal of Honor recipient and...
PFFFFFT JESUS.

Sarah Palin Would Never Judge You For Not Loving Jesus, As Long As You’re Donald Trump

Oh ho ho ho ho, you want to eat a fried moose sandwich with OMG hypocrisy sauce for breakfast this morning, the day of the big Iowa caucuses? Sarah Palin, whose latest grift (except for this one) is writing...
Black coffee, she needs black coffee. Or another cocktail.

Sarah Palin Probably Had Good Hangover, We Mean Reason, For Quitting On Trump Rally

If your name is Sarah Mama Grizzly Moosedick Palin, you have been a busy little worker bee the past 24 hours! You went on an airplane to Iowa, all the way from up there in Alaska; you got a...

How Drunk Was Sarah Palin, On A Scale Of Burp To In Jail With Her Son Track?

Did you watch that? Are you wondering what the hell it was and if perhaps you hallucinated it because dear lord, that cannot be real? It was real. It happened. Sarah Palin took the stage Tuesday night to endorse Donald Trump fer...
Where's Track? IN JAIL MAYBE?

Track Palin Got Drunk And Beated Up A Lady With His Gun, Allegedly

What a busy day for the Palin family! Sarah's in Iowa making drunk faces about Makin' America Great Again for Donald Trump, Bristol's sitting at home COVERED in out-of-wedlock baby poo and "writing" internet letters about what a dick...
S-M-R-T-S!

Sarah Palin Endorses Donald Trump For Emperor Of Alaska And Also Too America!

BREAKING NEWS! On Jan. 19, in the year of our gun-totin' Lord 2016, Sarah Palin will saunter out onstage with Donald Trump in Ames, Iowa, where she will caress his beautiful mane and say, "I also too Sarah Palin...
She thought her question was maybe "too motherly."

Washington Republican Asks Teens How Much Dick They’re Getting, Totally Normal

Washington state Rep. Mary Dye sounds just like our mommy, and your mommy, and all of U.S. America's mommy. She makes apple pie and gives good advice and leans in real close and says things like, "HEY CHAMP. GETTIN'...