Tag: blm

Trump All GRRRR At Black People, For A Change. Wonkagenda For Mon., Sept. 25, 2017

Sportsball ruined forever, Merkel holds on, and Peggy Noonan ponders peace through Trump. Your morning news brief.

Creepy Milo Dude Gets To Write Whole Book About How Much He Loves Black Dicks

Wonkette can't wait to publish its review of this book never, because ZZZZZZZZZ.

George Zimmerman Being Bizarre Whiny Ass-Baby, Again

George Zimmerman is back in court, and this time for a thing another person did, and not because he shot a teenage boy he thought was gonna murder him with Skittles. It's because of a road rage incident from 2015...
SCOTUS Roller Derby Team

Sonia Sotomayor Pissed, Y’all

Sotomayor doesn't think it's OK for cops to illegally stop and search you, then come up with reasons why later. Weird!
This copy of the Constitution came in a box of cereal

Cliven Bundy Lawsuit Against Obama Demands $50 Million, Get Out Of Jail Free Card, And A Pony

Cliven Bundy has filed a massively stupid lawsuit against President Obama, Sen. Harry Reid, and the federal judge in his criminal case. It's good for some laughs if nothing else.

Is That A Dick In Michele Fiore’s Cop Boyfriend’s Pocket, Or Is He Going To Shoot Her?

Our favorite Nevada lawmaker loves the Men in Blue very literally, and would only point a gun at terrorist federal agents.
The Gun Is Good

Some Might Call It Suicide By Cop. Idiot Nevada Lawmaker Michele Fiore Calls It ‘Liberty’

Nevada Assemblywoman, congressional candidate, and all around gunstrumpet Michele Fiore has been thinking long and hard about what freedom means, and what freedom means to her is apparently the inalienable right to get yourself blown away by cops if...
I'm out of order? This whole COUNTRY is out of order!

Ammon Bundy’s Legal Defense Exactly As Sane As Every Other Bundy Legal Theory

Oh goody, it looks like the defense team for malodorous wildlife refuge terrorist Ammon Bundy is taking its cues from the squirrelly legal theories of the defendant, which should make the coming trial no end of laughs, especially when...

Bundy Buddies Added Dicks To Indian Petroglyphs. Not A Dick Joke Wonkette Can Get Behind

As everyone knows, the Bunditarian Patriot Militia Jamborees of 2014 and 2016 were all about an important principle, namely, the "return" of federal land to "We The People," because the feds are all about stealing The People's land and...

Hillary Clinton Needs To Muzzle Her Husband

Bill Clinton has been yelling at black people again. Specifically, he's been yelling at protesters from Black Lives Matter, calling them dishonest liars who stick up for murderers and crack dealers. (The bad kind of crack dealer, who makes...
He's kind of a pussy.

So You Want To Be A Journalist In Donald Trump’s America?

Did you hear about the great Secret Service/TIME magazine journalist kerfuffle-squabble-foofaraw at Monday's Donald Trump rally at Radford University in Virginny? It was intense! There were Black Lives Matter protesters, saying protests! A journalist named Chris Morris wanted to get...

Rand Paul Has Another Extremely Occasional Moment Of Sanity, Drops Out Of Race

See? The insane, dumb Iowa caucuses DO serve a purpose, and it's to get rid of some more of these damn Republicans who think for whatever reason that they might get to be president someday, LOL as if. First...
Robert "LaVoy" Finicum, who died in the shootout.

Oregon Militia Will Beg For Snacks In Jail After Fed Shootout Leaves 1 Dead, 8 In Custody

Guys, we are not sure, but we think big gub'mint tyranny may have winned. How else to explain what transpired Tuesday night as jackbooted feds descended upon the Oregon militia boys (and little girls!) illegally occupying the Malheur National...

White Armed Militia Dudes Are Human And They Need To Be Loved. Also Snacks

For the record, this is the exact moment when we lit'rally OMG SO DEAD DIED laughing at the gang of criming-while-white dudes who've barricaded themselves in a federally owned cabin in Oregon, with nothing but their wits and a bag of...
They're not even sure what they're arguing about anymore

Fox News: Armed White Militia Dudes Not Thugs Because Come On, You Guys

If you want a clear explanation of what all the militia hoopla in Burns, Oregon, is about, don't go reading comsymp mommyblogs. Look no further than Fox News, where we learn that the real reason for the armed takeover...

Ted Cruz Suddenly Has A Problem With Law-Breakin’ Freedom Fighters, Weird

Ted Cruz, America's greatest defender of True Patriots who know Big Government is not the boss of them, at least when it comes to the homosexbian stuff, has found the one battle against tyranny that makes his bacon-wrapped freedom pole go limp: Republican...