Tag: blingee

Team Shirley 4-Evar

Dead Breitbart’s Ghost Forced To Pay Up For Murdering Shirley Sherrod’s Career

Remember about a million years ago in 2010 when Barack Obama was still just getting started on his project of turning all Americans against each other by being a huge racist who forced teabaggers to bring racist signs to...
All Hail the Risen Blingee

Why Do You Weep? Blingee Lives! Your Saturday Nerdout

Hey, remember how a week or so back we were all bummed because one of the most useful dumb wonderful things on the Internet, Blingee, was going away forever? Turns out that the public reaction was so anguished, so...

RIP Blingee: World’s Greatest Terrible Website Headed For Digital Heaven

It's the end of an era. A sad, sad day. Blingee, the website that helped Wonkette -- and idiot tweens -- create epilepsy-inducing animated images, is going away forever, according to the site's developers. So many memories, so many...

Mean Democrats: If Tom Cotton Wants To Sext With Iran, He Has To Pay For It Himself

Senate Democrats have a plan to punish and oppress Tom Cotton (R-Confederacy) and to take away his freedom to be a traitorous douche-canoe, and they're doing it by attacking his precious kitty cat letterhead. Monsters. Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D-MI) filed an amendment...

Happy Birthday, Victoria Jackson, From Your BFF’s At Your Wonket!

Happy Birthday wishes to beloved Wonkette Content Generator Victoria Jackson! She continues to fight the weird fight, even though she daily risks being forced by the UN to ride a bike or getting edited by Fox News into even...

Someone Tell Peggy Noonan The Fake IRS Scandal Ended Weeks Ago, Or Maybe Don’t, It’s Not Like She Matters

You might think Peggy Noonan has so thoroughly self-discredited by now that her only remaining role in public discourse is to memorialize the simpleton biases and transparent lie-gospels of the anachronistic, bubble-dwelling conservative “elites” who are the Wall Street...

Your Monday Nice Time: Wonket Does A Gay Marriage, Brings Modern Society Closer To Crumbling Into Sea

Good morning, straight people. We want to talk to you about that weird feeling you've been having for about a week — that one where your marriage feels like it's... worth less. You may be wondering why you feel...

Mexico-Bashing Gay Arizona Sheriff Shares Tips On Forbidden Love

Recently outed gay Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu has some hot relationship tips about his longtime gay partner "Jose," who was also a trusted political consultant for Babeu and even designed all of Babeu's congressional campaign websites: Jose somehow secretly...

Wingnuts ‘Uniting Behind Santorum,’ Obviously

What are the Christian wingnut conservative Republicans doing about 2012 now? Uniting behind Santorum, of course! Because when you're stuck with a slate of candidates including a liberal billionaire foreigner who loves the wrong Jesus and a repulsive kidney-shaped...

Sexy Rick Santorum’s Top 10 Sex Tricks To Drive God Wild In Bed

Now that he's just eight paid Romney supporters away from being the most popular Republican presidential candidate in all the land, Rick Santorum is getting a "second look" from many who had mostly forgotten about the Pennsylvania oddball back...

Did Rick Perry Try To Rough-Sex Ron Paul At GOP Debate?

Dr. Ron Paul's portion of the Internet is goin' nutz over the rumored grab-ass Rick Perry was trying to strong-arm Doctor Congressman Paul with, during the Reagan Gravesite Debate. Why is Rick Perry such a violent psychopath? Does he...

Can You Identify the Candidate Goblins In Our GOP Debate Blingee?

We cannot read through all 1,004 comments from last night's debate liveblogging -- this is why comments are robotically moderated, and why we depend upon you to alert us to spammers 'n lamers who must be banned -- but...

Michele Bachmann Sucks a Footlong, Is President of Iowa

2012 Fever is on the rise in Iowa, where hollow-eyed pillhead Michele Bachmann easily took the footlong patriotic corndog of freedom and also won the Iowa "Ames Straw Poll." This is great news for America's Comedy Industry, and sad...

Wonkette’s Liz Glover & Lady Gaga Had a Yoga Thing

Hahahaha, here's the complete text of a secret email from Famous Wonkette videographer of record Liz Glover: "Say of it what you will. I trust your judgment." Wait, is that a good idea, Liz? Especially when international video-singer sensation...

RedState’s Lonely Photoshop Contest

With nothing else to talk about today, despite the fact that Sharia is slowly being added to law books all over the country, RedState decided they were gonna have themselves a good ol' Photoshoppin' contest with a photo of...

World Ending, Michelle Obama Rocks the Costa del Sol

What the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks is going on? Your editor just returned from a frantic/miserable week of "summer vacation," with nothing but occasional glances at the USA Today to remind him of this American Politics/Collapse thing -- did you know America...