Tag: Ben Shapiro

Splodey Heads Are Sploding All Over Your Weekly Top Ten

Let's count down the week's top stories and laugh at Sarah Palin at the same time!

Ben Shapiro Forgets To Pretend Texas’s Bad Abortion Law Was About Women’s Health

The anti-choice cat comes out of the bag for this Monday Cringefest.

Bill Kristol’s Butt Buddy David French Not Running For President, What A Shame

Who could have seen this coming and WHOA IF TRUE, but we must regretfully inform you that Bill Kristol was wrong about a thing.

Ben Shapiro Making Trouser Starbursts Over Sexy New Candidate David French (Who?)

Well, we guess Ben Shapiro, former lover of all things Breitbart, is one of the Renegade Jewishes now, officially, as he is drenching the front part of his bathing suit region with Embarrassment Stains over Bill Kristol's boy wonder independent...

Ben Shapiro Declared A Social Justice Warrior By People More Racist Than Ben Shapiro

With the rise of the "alt-right" -- which is exactly like the racist far-right, except they call themselves "alt" in order to insinuate that they were very cool in the '90s or something and maybe even listened to Nirvana -- the bar...

Trump Campaign Manager Corey Lewandowski Goes To Jail, For Being A Dick

Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski, human spleen, has turned himself in on misdemeanor battery charges for misdemeanor-battering a gal Breitbart reporter for having the temerity to exist in his field of vision. Despite Lewandowski's insistence that he could not...

You Want More Justin Trudeau Hotness? Fine. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Y'ALL. It's Saturday! You're probably like "Gah Evan, why do we have to look upon the hotness of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau again THIS SUCKS." That's because you're bad at life. But we can explain. First of all,...
We thought we were the honorable ones

Shocked By Sudden Lack Of Ethics At Breitbart, Gal Reporter And Boy Idiot Resign

In surprising news Sunday night, Breitbart "News" (that still cracks us up) reporter Michelle Fields and sphincter-at-large Ben Shapiro said they are leaving the august bastion of rightwing journalism. Following the alleged assault of Fields by Donald Trump's campaign...

Barack Obama Proposes A Few Minor Tweaks To Prevent Gun Deaths, Usual Freakout Ensues

Now that Barack Obama has nullified the Second Amendment and grabbed all the guns, we'd like to look back at the speech in which he sounded the death knell of freedom for approximately the 1,485th time in his presidency....

The Top Ten Posts Of 2015 Will Tongue-Kiss You At Midnight, Since Nobody Else Will

Hooray, it's midnight! But only if you live in the time zone where it is midnight. If you don't live there, like say for instance maybe you live in "Luxembourg" or the "Mountain Time Zone," two places that may or...
evan hurst. just kidding, it's young handsome joe biden!

Wingnuts Piss All Over Grieving Joe Biden, Because That’s What They Do

Finally, after weeks and weeks and WEEKS AND FUCKING WEEKS of know-nothing speculation, we have our answer. Old Handsome Joe Biden is not running for president, and would like to spend some more time grieving his recently deceased son, can...
Hold on, hold on, still thinkin' ...

Suck It, Ted Cruz: Government And Planned Parenthood To Remain Open

In a bizarre attempt to earn their six-figure paychecks for a change, a sufficient number of congressional Republicans agreed with Democrats that Sen. Ted Cruz sure is a moron, and also, it would be a good idea to keep...

Wingnuts Tell Commie Pope To Get A Brain, Moran

The rightwing freakout over Pope Francis and his betrayal of all good things (unfettered capitalism) continues, and it seems that his address to a joint meeting of Congress doesn't seem to have made them a lot happier, probably because...
Nothing classes up the joint like a top hat and monocle

Deleted Comments Of The Week: This Is Clearly A Homo-Sexual Web-Page

What a week! Our Deleted Comments queue fairly groans with vast loads of deleted idiocy, and yet, we find ourselves facing quite the conundrum: While we had enormous numbers of deleted comments, not many of them were really all...

We Must Join With Ben Shapiro To Stop The Gays From Killing Again!

Wednesday's news was awful. Alison Parker and Adam Ward, a reporter and a cameraman with WDBJ-TV in Roanoke, Virginia, were murdered in cold blood, on television, for reasons we don't fully know yet. The shooter, Vester Lee Flanagan, is...

Virginia Journalist Killer Was Black Man, And Wingnuts Are ON IT

By now, you've heard the gruesome news, unless you work at a bar and you're just now getting up. A disgruntled former employee of WDBJ-TV in Roanoke allegedly carried out a plan to murder two of his former colleagues,...