Get your mama's combat boots out, we invade TUESDAY! TONIGHT!
Baby please don't go! Wait, do go! TO SEE US!
GET IT? DO YOU GET IT? I GET IT.
KNOCK KNOCK MOTHERFUCKER.
For certain values of 'you.' Best click through and find out!
Gonna kiss ALL OF YOU on your faces!
YOU GUYS. IT IS MY BIRTHDAY. GIVE US ALL THE MONEY TO GO TO THE MARCH THING, WITH THE TEENS, FOR NO GUNS.
Trump budget rips apart the social safety net, Betsy DeVos tells trans kids to go outside, and Darrell Issa might be banging some other Congressman's wife? Your morning news brief.
Trump worried Devin Nunes Show will get canceled, Diplomats running from Foggy Bottom, and Mike Pompeo meets Russian spy chiefs (no biggie). Your morning news brief!
Nobody ever accused Devin Nunes of being smart.
Trump goes to Davos to make America look worse, Sarah Huckabee Sanders poots about school shootings, and everyone wants to talk about Devin Nunes's Russian memo except Devin Nunes. Your morning news brief.
Trump calls Caucasianally challenged Not America a 'shithole,' Missouri's governor has some explaining to do, and Russian hackers are ready for 2018. Your morning news brief!
Trump tries to take credit for Obama's legacy, Roy Moore about to officially lose (again), and Donald Trump is ... GOLFING??? THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT!!! Your morning news brief.
Trump opens the old Cold War playbook, the NRA caves on background checks (lol right), and Jill Stein has some 'splaining to do. Your morning news brief.
GOP tax bill gets even less popular, Matt Lauer YA BUSTED, and the fight for net neutrality gets dirty. Your morning news brief.
Mueller spooks Trump (again), John Kelly shows his true colors (again), and Hannity loses his shit (lol duh). Your morning news brief!