Tag: ayn rand

Donald Trump Accidentally Does Right Thing, INPEACH!

Donald Trump inadvertently saves 401(k)s. Is still a garbage human.

Deleted Comments: You Liberal Losers Are Just Jealous Of Ivanka Because You’re Losers. Also Sheeple.

Our Ivanka Trump post got a lot of attention. Some of it from serious doofuses.

Wingnuts Will Never Forgive Michelle Obama For Outlawing Bacon Sundaes In Schools

Michelle Obama, Queen First Lady of our hearts, has long cared deeply about America's obesity crisis, particularly among kids. How have right-wingers been dicks to her about it over the years? Let us count the ways. First, some quick backstory....

Paul Ryan Is A Idiot, But Not Enough To Take Speaker’s Job. Or Is He?

Out of the chaos in Congress, following Kevin McCarthy's decision to not become the most inarticulate speaker of the House ever (because SEX SCANDAL, allegedly), a consensus has strangely arisen as sometimes happens in Washington and the political Talking...
Funny strange, not funny ha ha

Rand Paul Says Hard Work And Tax Cuts Will Make Everyone Rich, Especially The Rich

On "Fox News Sunday" (on Fox News, Sunday), Rand Paul offered some inspiring thoughts on how the economy really works, based purely on the theories of Ayn Rand plus multiple massive bong hits: Tax rates have nothing to do...

Hey, Remember When Tucker Carlson Beat Up That Gay Dude In The Bathroom?

This piece has been UPDATED, because this is a post about Tucker Carlson being creepy about transgender people in bathrooms, and we are smacking ourselves on the face and on the bottom, because we forgot to talk about that...
See what happens when you read about poor people?

Texas Mom Drops Challenge To Super Sexy ‘Marxist’ Book About Poors

Remember how some parents in one of Texas's richest school districts were complaining that a book about poor people was being taught in an advanced placement English class? The parents were upset because David K. Shipler's The Working Poor: Invisible in America...

Beloved San Fran Sci-Fi Bookstore Time-Travels Three Years Into Future To Go Galt

Here is a stupid story that is dumb: Borderland Books, a sci-fi and mystery bookstore in San Francisco's Mission District, is closing its Tardis portal (do they have portals? unclear) in March because of San Francisco's terrible horrible (but...

Tucker Carlson’s Internet Home For Fascists Who Can’t Read Good Blames Liberals For Tom Brady’s Deflated Balls

We were doing our goddamned level best not to care about or pay attention to the sportsball controversy some moron decided to call Deflategate, because everything needs a fucking “-gate” suffix, because every-fucking-thing is just like Richard Nixon ratfucking...
You can't go wrong with the classics

Rich Texas Parents: Reading Ayn Rand In School Will Fix All The Poverty

Oh, Texas. This is so very you: A book about poverty is again being challenged in Highland Park ISD, one of the wealthiest school districts in the state. Seems that some parents are worried that The Working Poor: Invisible in America,...
You can't go wrong with the classics

John Oliver Presents The Philosophy Of Ayn Rand, Or ‘Being A Selfish A**hole’ (Video)

We've got a treat for you today, Wonkers -- a visit to the Wonderful World of Ayn Rand, via John Oliver's Last Week Tonight, in which the question must be asked: "Ayn Rand: How is she still a thing?" Thrill...
Hi this is not what slavery looks like

Airplanes Are Not Like Slave Ships After All And Other News You Can Maybe Use

In today's news, we have bad analogies (like, really bad), quite possibly the greatest movie review of all time, Fox News being wrong about something (okay, that's not exactly news, but it is funny), and of course SCIENCE! Sorry about...

Ron Paul Will Act At You In Atlas Shrugged: Part III

Clocking in at around 645,000 words, Atlas Shrugged is Ayn Rand's magnum derpus. So it makes sense that the film version has been stretched out into three full-length movies, because how else are you going to cram all that...

GOP Opens New Front In War On Fruits & Vegetables

The kids are our future, so we should treasure them and take care of each individual precious snowflake child, each of whom is a gift from God or Allah or Spirit Pasta or whatever. But you know what? Skinny...

Somebody Is Stealing Children To Put In Paul Ryan Speeches!

Just minutes ago, we learned about wise children leading us to an understanding that ... liberals do not love their children, and love comes in brown paper bags we guess? Like 40s of Colt? Paul Ryan used the story...

Coal Fights Back Against Obama’s War On Coal With Chemical Attack In West Virginia

Coal! It's dirty, brittle, and buried deep underground. In a word, it's American. Which is why Fox News declared that Obama declared war on it, when he announced his intention to "promote fuel-switching from coal to gas for electricity...