Tag: alan keyes

Kayla Moore All ‘Who Cares If Roy Molested Kids? LET’S TALK ABOUT FAGS!’

Also BREAKING NEWS: Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey is proudly voting for the kid-toucher!
Stupidest living human? Why not.

Mike Huckabee: Can We Shut Up About Racism And Talk About My Lord And Savior Jesus Christ?

When Mike Huckabee was first asked whether the Confederate flag should fly in South Carolina, he said Americans don't "want  to weigh in on every little issue in all 50 states that might be an important issue to the people...
Unfortunately Carlton Banks is not running.

GOP Would Like A Shot With The Blacks Once They’re Done Making Love To Barack Obama

It is of course a Science Fact that black people only voted for Barack Obama because he was black. This is why Alan Keyes and Allen West have also been president of America for several decades each, because all the...
Surely this man is not crazy.

Alan Keyes’ Army Of One Will Declare WAR On Gay-Marrying Supreme Court, Time To Panic!

Poor Alan Keyes. He just cannot get over things. He knows his arch-nemesis Barack Obama (who probably would be hard-pressed to remember Keyes' name) is out there, making sweet love to our enemies in Iran, so that they may...
What more evidence do you need?

Alan Keyes, Not Crazy: Obama Colluding With Iran To Bomb U.S. Like Hitler, Probably (Not)

Someone is still bitter about that time Barack Obama kicked his ass, and we're not even talking about John McCain this time! Nah, we're mocking wingnut wackadoodle dingbat Alan Keyes, the guy who carpetbagged on over to Illinois three...

Ex-Gays Returning To Washington To Cruise For Relevance, Dick

Emboldened by the rousing success that was last year’s “Ex-Gay Pride” weekend, ex-gay guy Christopher “No Homo” Doyle and his organization, Voice For The Voiceless, are returning for an encore performance. Will they be able to top last year’s convention,...

Sexclusive! Wonkette Mocks Alan Keyes’ Exclusive Letter To His Facebook Friend

We never fail to be amused by WND's shameless overuse of the word "exclusive" to refer to basically every post on their nonsense site. One of their latest exciting exclusives comes from our old friend Alan Keyes, who wrote...

Did Mitt Romney Model Bugle Boys In This Old Value City Ad?

We were going to do a heartfelt thing (yes we were, shut up) about the 50th anniversary of the 16th Street Baptist Church bombing in which we declared September 15th a "National Day of Empathy" and tried to...

Alan Keyes Reveals His Eleventy-Million-Word-Plan For Keyesian Ascendance Over The Traitor Glenn Beck

It is always hard when your amazing social movement reaches the schism stage, isn't it? First you're best buds, pallin' around together creating revolution, and next thing you know you've got an icepick buried in your skull. Relive...

What A Star We Lost When Barack Obama Beat Alan Keyes

Alan Keyes is not your average man. For one thing, he is probably clinically insane. For another, we will never, ever forget -- we will be 108 years old, on our deathbed, laughing and cackling -- the South Carolina...

Alan Keyes Waterboards Trapped Boat Passengers With Song (VIDEO)

General life-reject and self-described ongoing abortion Alan Keyes has discovered, GAH, that the old people who frequent cruise ships are "pretty much stuck there," once they are on the boat. You don't say! What a perfect opportunity for Alan Keyes...

Michael Steele Caught Trying To Hide $7 Million In RNC Debt

RNC Treasurer Randy Pullen dropped a line to members of the party's budget committee yesterday just to let them know Michael Steele has hidden about $7 million in debt from him lately. This made the RNC's "war chest" (boobs)...

THE ONLY PHOTO OF ALAN KEYES PUSHING A SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS STROLLER FULL OF ABORTED CABBAGE PATCH DOLLS YOU'LL NEED TO SEE TODAY: Oh look, nutbar is back at Notre Dame.

Bush & Obama’s Shared Joy: Hating Alan Keyes

So we're finally getting around to reading Obama's second book, The Audacity of Hope, because we didn't want to read it before the election and get all pissed off at the guy for writing some bullshit hardcover pamphlet about...

Alan Keyes Keeps His Word, Gets Arrested At Notre Dame

Alan Keyes wanted to get arrested at Notre Dame and thrown in jail forever so very much that... well he just COULD NOT WAIT until the actually graduation ceremony in nine days! He and some friends were apprehended on...

Alan Keyes Excited About Being Arrested, At Notre Dame

Father to a lesbian Hell Demon and former "Maryland diplomat" Alan Keyes, the self-proclaimed "abortion of politics," well he's going to Notre Dame, is what he's doing, to protest Barack Obama's upcoming commencement speech alongside the bloody baby carriages...