Tag: airplanes

Fucked-Up United Airlines Thing Just Another Day For You And Me In Paradise

We bet you thought you'd seen the worst cops already. You had not seen the worst cops.
Less charisma than a sleeping basset hound, and nowhere near as cute.

Scott Walker Will Be Best President Of America, Because He’s Been To Europe Like Twice

Despite the fact that presidential candidate Carly Fiorina (R-LOL) has explained that going places on airplanes -- like that know-nothing Hillary Clinton, who used to be Secretary of State -- is not the same thing as actual foreign policy...
Mile High Club

Spirit Airlines Will 69 You In The Sky, Wingnut Outrage To Commence Shortly

The budget carrier Spirit Airlines is having a celebration, and they want YOU to come 69 the friendly skies with them, doesn't that sound like a hot thing you want to cross of your bucket list? They are doing...

Romney’s World: With The Middle East On Fire, He Would Like Us To Help Rename His Plane

What is the worst possible thing that Egg Romney could call the Romney flying machine? Here is a message from His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney, to inform us! Ann likes to joke that the campaign plane should be...

Mystery Batwoman Flies Banner Over S&P Offices Telling Them To Go To Hell

"Thanks for the downgrade, you should all be fired" are the words written on this difficult-to-see super mysterious hero "tweet in real life" that flew over the offices of Standard and Poors today in New York City. HAS SOMEONE...

Rick Scott Busy Sexing Floridians With Robocalls And Ethics Violations

Oh, don't we just love to pick on hairless dingus Rick Scott, because he is officially America's most disliked governor, his constituents are constantly suing him for passing laws no one likes, he's kind of "eh" about keeping track...

DRUDGE SIRENS: Arab Man On Plane Got Angry Or Something

The conservative Internet has uncovered UNMISTAKABLE EVIDENCE that The Muslims of America are planning to set aside their Sharia checklist for a moment to avenge the death of Osama bin Laden. On Sunday, some guy from Vallejo, California on...

James Inhofe Nearly Killed a Bunch of People Landing Plane Last Year

76-year-old Republican Sen. James Inhofe of Oklahoma landed his Cessna plane on a closed runway at Cameron County Airport in Texas last October despite people telling the crazy old man in the hurtling death machine he was not allowed...

Kochs Everywhere: Union-Busting Bill Introduced In Alaska

The War on Normal People (sorry, "Bolshie bastards") started in Wisconsin, but it has quickly spread to every corner of our sad Union. And now even the fabled ice colony of Alaska -- long known for its warring tribes...

Rand Paul Won’t Interfere With People Shooting Down Airplanes With Lasers

Since the dawn of American civilization, man has directed his laser pointer at airplane cockpits in order to blind the pilots and make the thing crash to the ground, for teh lulz. Unfortunately, the Senate yesterday passed a bill...

Urine, Feces Now Literally Falling On Us From Sky

Homes in Snyder, New York are now covered in a "goo" of feces and urine, just like in that Oscar-winning 1997 Robin Williams film noir, Flubber, except it is being eaten off the ground and sides of houses by...

Airport Porn Death Tubes, TSA Groping Here To Stay

Millions of Americans went to airports last week for Thanksgiving travel and to stare down the gossipy new machines that show people pictures of travelers' naked bodies. This was supposed to be an ACTUAL reenactment of the Boston Tea...

Here Is John Conyers On An Airplane Fapping To Playboy Magazine

Thanksgiving is an annual holiday of touching people's genitals to celebrate the miracle of flight, so here's a video that's emerged of Rep. John Conyers of Detroit looking at a copy of Playboy on an airplane. And through the...

Passenger Finds Gun Clip On Plane: The System Works!

An annoying child on a Southwest Airlines flight from Burbank to Phoenix was rummaging around in a seat pocket and knocked a loaded gun magazine onto the floor. Hooray! Thank God we have those kajillion-dollar voyeur tubes to save...

Petulant Libertarian Blogger Refuses TSA Grope, Is Threatened With Suit

Hey, here's the early winner of America's "Who Can Be the Most Obnoxious To TSA" contest, a guy calling himself "Johnny Edge." Cool name! Very libertarian! Very comic book! This guy went into San Diego's airport with the sole...