Tag: 2016 campaign

DONALD TRUMP, GET YOUR TINY PIGGY PERVERT HANDS OFF KATY TUR RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!

Katy Tur's book is out today too! Surprise, it features a story about how Donald Trump is a filthy piece of trash.

Trump-Russia Investigation EXPOSED AS HOAX, Because Let This One Wingnut Explain You Why

This is just really good investigative thinkin' right here.

Joe And Mika Explain What A Gross Fucking Creep Donald Trump Really Is

It's fucking stunning we're having this conversation about the sitting president of the United States.
Huh. Usually it's the pants.

Donald Trump Goes Over Bigly With Republican Senators In ‘Dumpster Fire’ Of A Meeting

Donald Trump met with Senate Republicans Thursday, and only a few of them openly stuck out their tongues and went 'Thhpppppbbbbttt!' right in his face. Trumpmentum is clearly building.

RNC’s Hispanic Media Relations Director Quits, Wonder Why!

We just can't imagine what might have led to this!
Tanned, Rested, and Ready

Barack Obama About Ready To Jizzsplode All Over Campaign Trail

With the Democratic primary campaign getting closer to its exciting close (either Hillary Clinton clinching the nomination or Bernie Sanders creating a metamodern miracle of political transformation) President Barack Barry Bamz Obama is fixin' to go out and do...
Thank you for not facing the camera, you Luigi the Plumber-looking motherfucker.

Ted Cruz Kicks Off Presidential Campaign, Wonkette Staffers Crying Through Orgasms

Today, Canadian anchor babby Ted Cruz, the señor senator from Texas, launched his campaign to be the Jesus-Humper-in-Chief of these Jesus States of America. In case anyone was unsure of which Americans Cruz was really speaking to, he chose...
Feel the excitement.

Peggy Noonan Pub Crawls Through 2016 Field, Finds Gin, Contradictions, More Gin

Spring was in the air and in her step. The long winter may have left the city’s streets with so many potholes they looked like Berlin in 1945, but the snow was melting, the homeless had cleared off the...
They just want to buy the White House is all

Koch Brothers Pledge $889 Million To Least Losery 2016 Candidate, If Any

If President Obama's lame-duck "don't give a fuck" attitude has been improving your outlook on life lately, then fresh from Freedom Partners' annual winter summit comes some news that will send you crashing right back down to Frown Town....
The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Rewrites McDonald’s Ad Real Good-Like

Sarah Palin went to Iowa this weekend. Is she running for President? She's not not running for President, she can tell you that much! How not-uninterested is she, Washington Post? “I am. As I said yesterday, I’m really interested in...