Tag: 1984

Stages Of Grief: Russia Having Rough Time Coping With Michael Flynn’s Resignation

Yes, we're all sad about Michael Flynn. But how are the Russians holding up?
Thou hast in thy skull no more brain than I have in mine elbows.

Deleted Comments: You Secular Porn Addicts Are Destroying America And Have Never Read Shakespeare!

We thought we were smart, but it turns out we're porn-addicted dummies who've never read Shakespeare. Ay, me!
The bowl of petunias only said, 'Oh no, not again.'

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Hey, Libturds, A Jar Of Pickles Is Not A Medical Exam!

In which our deleted commenters treat a comedy sketch like the Zapruder film. We can hardly wait for the Dinesh D'Souza feature-length documentary on Picklegate.

Wyoming State Rep. Troy Mader Learned All He Needs To Know About AIDS In 1984

Wyoming state Rep. Troy Mader is just your average rancher and country/gospel recording artist, not a medical expert by any means. But he stands by pretty much everything that he wrote in a 1984 self-published book, The Death Sentence...

Surprise, Breitbart Writer Does Not Know What ‘Orwellian’ Means, How To Read

If it's Tuesday, it must be time for someone on the internet to be fretting that English Is Doomed, and so is America, because of . And so let us spend a moment with poor Merrill Hope at Dead...

Sarah Palin Knows All About This George Orwell Fella, He’s The One Who Sent The Pig To The Jello Factory

Sarah Palin has been doin' some book learnin' and appears to have finally made it all the way through George Orwell's Animal Farm, which was probably pretty hard for her, let's be honest. She's so excited about her ever-growing...

Terrified Parents Will Protect Precious Children From Terrorism, ‘Common Core,’ By Keeping Them As Stupid As Possible

Today is "National Don’t Send Your Child To School Day," a brilliant idea from a website that is terrified that the Common Core educational standards will lead to socialism, one-world government, tyranny, "Obama Math" and god knows what else,...

Colorado State Sen. Kent Lambert Exposes ‘Mind Control’ Technology Behind Civil Unions, Then Spontaneously Combusts

How's this for a match made in heaven? No, not a ghey-marriage match, silly, those are lies from the pit of hell. We mean the combination of insane third-rate intertubes preacher Gordon "Chaps" Klingenschmitt, who sees demons everywhere --...

Victoria Jackson Warns Bill O’Reilly That Communists Will Kill All The Jesus Any Day Now

Victoria Jackson went on Bill O'Reilly's teevee show Wednesday and pulled off her signature alchemy again -- making whoever she's talking to seem lucid and reasonable by comparison. (OK, it doesn't always work.) In this latest visit to the...

Sales of ‘1984’ Way Up, Booz Allen Stock Down, 4th Amendment Downgraded To Junk Status

Following last week's revelations reminders of the government's extensive collection and monitoring of Americans' electronic data, sales of George Orwell's 1984 are up sharply, according to a piece in the Washington Examiner. Once this factoid hit the interwebs, the story...

Breitbart Found A Chicago Teacher Who Once Met Some Communists

Dear god, please don't make us go look at Breitbart. No, really. We'll look at WND. We'll go watch Jonah Goldberg derp at The Corner. Just not Breitbart. Gah. OK, fine. FINE. We're all going to regret this.  Apparently,...

Pro-Life Ladies Compare Obama’s America To Totalitarian State (VIDEO)

Well, someone did their 9th grade reading (but made sure to cover their eyes and ears during all of sex ed). The Susan B. Anthony List, the self-declared "nerve center" of the pro-life movement, has decided that the Obama...

Santorum Steals Apple’s ‘1984’ Ad In Misguided Attempt To Seem Hip

Here is Rick Santorum's latest campaign ad "Rebellion," a modern bigoted man's knockoff of Apple's famous "1984" ad, except that the girl who is supposed to be wearing hot pants is wearing mom jeans and instead of Apple's old...

Weird Story Surfaces In Ongoing Search For Rick Perry Sex Scandal

The Rick Perry Investigative News Team over at POLITICO was still feeling nostalgic for Ronald Reagan's America following the other night's GOP Supersexxxual Debate about "taxes," a thing that is fun to debate especially when no one on the...

Noted Literary Scholar Sarah Palin Tweets About Orwell, Obama

So is Sarah Palin saying George Orwell did not write fiction, he wrote history books, and thus Obama is rewriting this history? That must be terrifying for Sarah Palin, knowing that just decades ago farm animals established a communist...

In Honor of Daily Briefing’s New Name, Here’s Reagan’s Hilarious ‘It’s Morning In America’ Commercial

With the United States still dragging itself out of the worst recession since the Great Depression, Ronald Reagan's 1984 campaign team came up with this awesome "It's Morning In America" theme. More people than ever were going to work,...