New York Saturday Afternoon! Drink Czech Beers With Us At Bohemian Beer Hall!

Allo allo allo! New York City we are in you, and Manhattan can go fuck itself! Meet us and the Official Wonkette Baby (star of stage and screen) at Bohemian Beer Garden in Astoria, Queens, Saturday let us say...

Genteel Racisms At The Virginia RV Park Waffle Bar

From 8:15 to 9 a.m., the Richmond, Virginia, RV park had a waffle bar! My husband sat on the bed and stroked my hip, murmuring of breakfast and coffee. I love him that much. I arose. We made friendly conversation...

So I Married A Commenter

Before I met my husband, I was offering him beej's in the secret Wonkette chatcave. It could have turned out badly -- actionably so! -- but he responded with enthusiasm and aw-shucks delight. Before that, I had hired him...

Very Nice Lawyers Cease-And-Desisting The Hell Out Of Our Bernie Sanders Shirts. Buy Yours Now Or Never!

Last week, we got a nice note full of nonsense from a lawyer at Universal who claimed that our Bernie For The Future shirt, in which the role of Doc Brown is portrayed by a certain Socialist senator from...

Baby’s First Caucus! Baby’s First Drug Raid! Welcome To Iowa, America

We were still in South Dakota when the bullshit patrolman decided his canine had "alerted" on our RV -- his canine had done no such thing, and my husband hadn't actually "improperly changed lanes." He hadn't changed lanes at...
beat it, poors

What’s Up With All These Dumb Gross Ads At Yr Wonkette Dot Com? A Wonksplainer

Wonkers! There you are, just trying to read your dick jokes in peace, and some fucking thing keeps looping and crashing your browser. Or there's a fucking poll that sounds like it was written by Steven Crowder (it probably...

Wonkette Smearing Its Big Love On Salt Lake City Tomorrow! (Or Tonight!)

Salt Lake City, comin' atcha! We shall invade your Drinking Liberally, as is our wont, and in exchange for letting us annex you, we shall buy you pitchers of your silly low-test beer tomorrow (or tonight?), anyway, Friday. BUT...

O Hai Memphis We Are Outrunning Tornadoes To Come See You Tonight, No Big

Memphis pals! Meet us at Celtic Crossing, 903 S. Cooper St., Memphis, 38104, tonight (Tuesday), 5 to 8 p.m.! Don't worry, we are pretty sure we won't die on the way.

Ask Wonkette Anything About Why We Are Doing A Reddit Ask Me Anything!

Remember a couple years back, when we got BANNED by REDDIT (/r/politics) for the crime of inserting a speculum into their vagina? Those were fun good times! I was all hey we are not crime? And they said no,...
Don't you want a t-shirt that looks like this? CLICK INSIDE TO GET IT!

Hey Philly, We’re Comin’ Atcha For The DNC, Come Drink Beers With Us!

Evan's Tour D'America continues!
The senator and the trivia question answer.

You Got Your Seattle Drinky Thing In My Senate Sunday! Two Great Tastes, Etc., Etc

They probably won't be up past midnight counting the U.S. Senate ballots in Washington, is what we're saying.

Orange County, California, Knows How To Party (Tonight!)

Prepare, minions, for the triumphal return of ME, YOUR COMMIE GIRL AND EDITRIX, plus my consort and my heiress, as I permit you to pay obeisance to me at our old stomping ground, the Fling in Santa Ana, for...

Hey Cleveland, Ready To Have A Drinky With Yr Wonkette This Sunday? Yes, You Are!

Also, we still need a place to stay in Cleveland. Do not make us pay a million ameros for an AirBNB that does not exist, please.

Iowa City, Chicago, Detroit: If You’d Known We Were Coming Would You Have Baked A Cake?

You know what is sad? Every time we go to Chicago, and you write to us a week later and say "hey, how come you never come to Chicago?" and then WE MURDER YOU, and your mother cries. Oh...


If you live in one of those cities, Wonkette COMIN' ATCHA THIS WEEK!

Oh Hey Philadelphia, Wonkette Is Inside You, Like A Romance Lover