Wonkebago

Ask Wonkette Anything About Why We Are Doing A Reddit Ask Me Anything!

Remember a couple years back, when we got BANNED by REDDIT (/r/politics) for the crime of inserting a speculum into their vagina? Those were fun good times! I was all hey we are not crime? And they said no,...

You Know Who Else Bought You Beers And Sausages, San Francisco Bay Area?

San Francisco Bay Area, we have heard your soulful, soul-patched plaints, and have decided to march on you Saturday, Nov. 7, at the Rosamunde Sausage Factory and Beer Hall (Putsch). NO NOT A BEERHALL PUTSCH, we are just kidding,...

Won’t You Feed The Wonkette Children This War On Christmas Season?

Is your Chanukah gelt burning a hole in your pocket (AND POOR JESUS'S PALMS???)? Do you feel the burning itch to share your Christmas goose, NOT IN A SEX WAY? Have you cracked your fourth bottle of wine, and...

A Ridiculous Amount Of Notice For You, So Cal, To Put On Your Drinkin’ And Wonkin’ Shoes

San Diego! Orange County! Los Angeles! Las Vegas! Maybe Utah! We are hereby giving you a dumb amount of notice that we will be buying you beers and/or grilling you tofurkey (you bring the tofurkey), NEXT WEEK AND THEREAFTER....

Wonkers With Businesses, Haw Haw Haw As If, Come And Advertise On Your Wonkette!

Are You A Jerb-Creating Businesswoman Entrepreneur Friend Of Wonkette? Man, You Must Be Awesome Are you a Wonker with a business haw haw as if, tell it on your OBAMAPHONE! Or if the answer is yes, and you are a...

Genteel Racisms At The Virginia RV Park Waffle Bar

From 8:15 to 9 a.m., the Richmond, Virginia, RV park had a waffle bar! My husband sat on the bed and stroked my hip, murmuring of breakfast and coffee. I love him that much. I arose. We made friendly conversation...

Hello, Los Angeles. Won’t You Buy A Girl And Her Husband And Her Official Wonkette Baby A Drink?

Los Angeles, we are to home to you! Currently? Overnighting in an alley behind Wonker Paula's Burbank craft-soap factory, and life couldn't be sweeter! (Or more clean.) Tonight you will come and sing sweet songs of home with us...
Fame and fortune except the fortune part.

Won’t You Shelter Yr Wonkette In Cleveland And Philadelphia For Convention Time Funsies?

Wonkette is comin' to the conventions, and we wanna stay at YOUR HOUSE!

God Expresses Displeasure With DNC By Drenching Philly With Completely Unreasonable Monsoon

But then we ate some fancy food and beer and watched Michelle Obama slay, so everything is OK now.

Yr Wonkette Would Like To Get The Hell Out Of Pennsyltucky Now

MOAR TRAVEL TIPS FROM WONKET.

Oh Hey, Ed Rendell

Wonket made another new friend.
No, really, we got a Cease and Desist order from Universal and their eight million lawyers.

In 24 Hours, These Bernie Sanders T-Shirts Will Self-Destruct

Hey, remember when that nice lawyer cease and desisted our most excellent Bernie Sanders For The Future T-shirts, because of how some (dumb) people might get a confuse? Well, this is your honest to goodness last chance Texaco to...

I Got Kicked Out Of The Militia’s Motel Room

Lincoln, Montana, is barely a town, although it does have several bar-casinos, at least three motels, and the Sleepy Hollow RV camp (trailer park) where we pulled up in the rain. The Unabomber lived a few miles outside town...

Wonkette Kiss-The-Baby Tour Rolling Into Santa Fe Tomorrow! (Today? Anyway, Wednesday)

Friends, outlaws, Americans! The Wonkette Wonkebago mini-tour of States That Are On The Way Home From Grandma's has officially begun! Won't you come and kiss our baby and give her the many germs she needs to grow strong and...

Very Nice Lawyers Cease-And-Desisting The Hell Out Of Our Bernie Sanders Shirts. Buy Yours Now Or Never!

Last week, we got a nice note full of nonsense from a lawyer at Universal who claimed that our Bernie For The Future shirt, in which the role of Doc Brown is portrayed by a certain Socialist senator from...

May We Have Some More Please?

Feed the baby.