Yr Wonkette Would Like To Get The Hell Out Of Pennsyltucky Now


Hey Cleveland, Ready To Have A Drinky With Yr Wonkette This Sunday? Yes, You Are!

Also, we still need a place to stay in Cleveland. Do not make us pay a million ameros for an AirBNB that does not exist, please.

Badass Speaker Nancy Pelosi Says Gay-Hatin’ Republican Party Platform Is ‘Pathetic’

Nancy Pelosi is talking on the DNC right now, but earlier today she was standing next to yr Wonket!

Wonkette Smearing Its Big Love On Salt Lake City Tomorrow! (Or Tonight!)

Salt Lake City, comin' atcha! We shall invade your Drinking Liberally, as is our wont, and in exchange for letting us annex you, we shall buy you pitchers of your silly low-test beer tomorrow (or tonight?), anyway, Friday. BUT...

The 2016 Wonkette Winter Wonksicle Tour, By The Numbers

Six weeks, 6,000 miles, and one illegal search and seizure later, the Wonkebago has turned back into our Montana driveway, and we're NEVER EVER EVER LEAVING AGAIN, until July. What's that, you want to give us some money? That...

Wonkette Kiss-The-Baby Tour Rolling Into Santa Fe Tomorrow! (Today? Anyway, Wednesday)

Friends, outlaws, Americans! The Wonkette Wonkebago mini-tour of States That Are On The Way Home From Grandma's has officially begun! Won't you come and kiss our baby and give her the many germs she needs to grow strong and...


Just kidding, we didn't trick you, you are not DUMM.
No, really, we got a Cease and Desist order from Universal and their eight million lawyers.

In 24 Hours, These Bernie Sanders T-Shirts Will Self-Destruct

Hey, remember when that nice lawyer cease and desisted our most excellent Bernie Sanders For The Future T-shirts, because of how some (dumb) people might get a confuse? Well, this is your honest to goodness last chance Texaco to...

Wonkette Stealth Updates Design Because Of How We Hate You

"The articles load slow on my Nokia Flip Phone." "Wonkette runs so slowly, it is being overtaken by glaciers." "I fucking hate your site and hope that you die." You, our dear Wonketariat, have filled our inboxes with stories of woe, and...
Don't you want a t-shirt that looks like this? CLICK INSIDE TO GET IT!

Hey Philly, We’re Comin’ Atcha For The DNC, Come Drink Beers With Us!

Evan's Tour D'America continues!

Hillary Is Lady President Of The World Now, And We Are Going Home

For real, we are getting in the car and going back to Memphis.

God Expresses Displeasure With DNC By Drenching Philly With Completely Unreasonable Monsoon

But then we ate some fancy food and beer and watched Michelle Obama slay, so everything is OK now.

Wonkette To Ad Networks: Fuck Off And Die

Scroll down to see new stories. This one's staying put a while!

Iowa Wonkers, Come Pre-Game The Caucuses With Your Beloved Wonkette!

Achtung and hey there, Iowa Wonkers! Come join your editrix, her sessy husband, and her heiress baby on Sunday, Jan. 31, the afternoon before the caucuses, and let us ram and cram beer or a soft drink down your...

I Feel Much Better Now, Thank You! By Me, Your Editrix

Oh Terrible Ones, how sorry I am to have been overwrought at you yesterday, but everything was awful! I was thousands of dollars short to pay Dok and Evan -- and mama keeps her ducks in a row and...