Wonkebago

Wonkette Smearing Its Big Love On Salt Lake City Tomorrow! (Or Tonight!)

Salt Lake City, comin' atcha! We shall invade your Drinking Liberally, as is our wont, and in exchange for letting us annex you, we shall buy you pitchers of your silly low-test beer tomorrow (or tonight?), anyway, Friday. BUT...

It’s A Bernie V. Hillary Knock-Down Drag-Out Fight! (At My Mama’s House, Starring Us)

It had been a very good day. We went to the corner of Beard and Farrall in Shawnee, Oklahoma, and held signs that read Bernie (my mom, husband, and daughter) or Yellow Dog Democrat (me)! Most people waved back...

Bernie Eviscerates, Defenestrates Hillary In Wonkette’s First-In-The-Nation Primary!

Looks like Bernie Sanders has thrown Hillary Clinton out a window, while simultaneously pulling her intestines out through her ... bottom? nose? let's go with nose -- in Wonkette's first-in-the-nation primary, where you vote with money like God and...

Orange County, California, Knows How To Party (Tonight!)

Prepare, minions, for the triumphal return of ME, YOUR COMMIE GIRL AND EDITRIX, plus my consort and my heiress, as I permit you to pay obeisance to me at our old stomping ground, the Fling in Santa Ana, for...

Is John Boehner Driving The Wonkebago To The Portland, Oregon, Drinky Thing?

No, John Boehner is probably not driving the Wonkebago to the Portland, Oregon, Drinky Thing, but a girl can dream, can't she? Join your comrades at the Wonkette Commenter-Owned Cooperative Drinky Thing And Potluck (No Pot) next week! Because...

Now Is The Time For All Good Wonkers To Come To The Aid Of Our Dick Jokes

Hello there, beautiful wonderful Wonkers we love! You are looking very intelligent today! Is that a new sweater? We need money.

Wonkers With Businesses, Haw Haw Haw As If, Come And Advertise On Your Wonkette!

Are You A Jerb-Creating Businesswoman Entrepreneur Friend Of Wonkette? Man, You Must Be Awesome Are you a Wonker with a business haw haw as if, tell it on your OBAMAPHONE! Or if the answer is yes, and you are a...

Wonkette Stealth Updates Design Because Of How We Hate You

"The articles load slow on my Nokia Flip Phone." "Wonkette runs so slowly, it is being overtaken by glaciers." "I fucking hate your site and hope that you die." You, our dear Wonketariat, have filled our inboxes with stories of woe, and...

Oh Hey, Ed Rendell

Wonket made another new friend.

Announcing The Wonkette Wonkebago Fall 2015 Itinerant Panhandling Tour And Quitterthon!

Remember some time ago when we ACHTUNG!ed at you and said HALP HALP THE WONKET ES BROKED and you said "Have all my money, I am high as a Bachmann"? Well, we did and boy did you ever. Then,...

Thank You Dearheart Wonkette Lovers!

Thank you for being with us this year. In return, we give you BABY PICTURES.

Here, Have A Drunk Man In Barstow Hollering About Hillary Clinton!

Be like this guy: loud, drunk and stupid, but also POLITICALLY ENGAGED.

Genteel Racisms At The Virginia RV Park Waffle Bar

From 8:15 to 9 a.m., the Richmond, Virginia, RV park had a waffle bar! My husband sat on the bed and stroked my hip, murmuring of breakfast and coffee. I love him that much. I arose. We made friendly conversation...

Wonkette Babby Wins All-Important New Hampshire ‘Morning Joe’ Primary

ALL HAIL WONKETTE BABY! You already know that, because you "all hail" her all the time. But if you were doing your normal routine Tuesday, which is obsessively staring at the respective Twitter feeds of Joe Scarborough and Mika...

Badass Speaker Nancy Pelosi Says Gay-Hatin’ Republican Party Platform Is ‘Pathetic’

Nancy Pelosi is talking on the DNC right now, but earlier today she was standing next to yr Wonket!