Wonkebago

Now Is The Time For All Good Wonkers To Come To The Aid Of Our Dick Jokes

Hello there, beautiful wonderful Wonkers we love! You are looking very intelligent today! Is that a new sweater? We need money.
beat it, poors

What’s Up With All These Dumb Gross Ads At Yr Wonkette Dot Com? A Wonksplainer

Wonkers! There you are, just trying to read your dick jokes in peace, and some fucking thing keeps looping and crashing your browser. Or there's a fucking poll that sounds like it was written by Steven Crowder (it probably...
The senator and the trivia question answer.

You Got Your Seattle Drinky Thing In My Senate Sunday! Two Great Tastes, Etc., Etc

They probably won't be up past midnight counting the U.S. Senate ballots in Washington, is what we're saying.

In Which My Husband Takes Vicious, Belated Pleasure In General Sherman’s March To The Sea

There was a methy, crunchy-faced man in the gas station, glaring fire at us. My husband let his testosterone rise, ready to strike like a viper, should the need arise, at the man he contemptuously described as "what all...

HAHA PORTLAND, WE TRICKED YOU! WE ARE CRASHING WEDNESDAY’S DRINKY THING!

Just kidding, we didn't trick you, you are not DUMM.

Wonkette Babby Wins All-Important New Hampshire ‘Morning Joe’ Primary

ALL HAIL WONKETTE BABY! You already know that, because you "all hail" her all the time. But if you were doing your normal routine Tuesday, which is obsessively staring at the respective Twitter feeds of Joe Scarborough and Mika...

Holy Batman Nipples! And Other Pictures From Our Chicano Park San Diego Drinky Thing!

Buenos morning, wonqueros y wonquerinas! We are coming at you from my sister's driveway in San Diego and trying out this newfangled "gallery" feature on the Wonk! Click away to see all your SD brethren and sistren partying near...

You Know Who Else Bought You Beers And Sausages, San Francisco Bay Area?

San Francisco Bay Area, we have heard your soulful, soul-patched plaints, and have decided to march on you Saturday, Nov. 7, at the Rosamunde Sausage Factory and Beer Hall (Putsch). NO NOT A BEERHALL PUTSCH, we are just kidding,...

Let Wonkette Baby Make You Smile Because Nothing Else Will

It is not often, or ever, that we are obligated to perform the public service of raising your spirits on a Monday. But alas and sigh groan grrr argh angry sad mad sounds, here we are. As the entire US of...

The State Of The Wonkette Union Is ‘Grifty’

Friends, Wonkers, perverts, lend us your danglies and your girl-danglies, and also listen up, sons (and girl-sons)! We come before you today to tell you that in 2015 you gave Wonkette $79,071 straight from your EBT cards, and that...

Iowa Wonkers, Come Pre-Game The Caucuses With Your Beloved Wonkette!

Achtung and hey there, Iowa Wonkers! Come join your editrix, her sessy husband, and her heiress baby on Sunday, Jan. 31, the afternoon before the caucuses, and let us ram and cram beer or a soft drink down your...

Wonkette Smearing Its Big Love On Salt Lake City Tomorrow! (Or Tonight!)

Salt Lake City, comin' atcha! We shall invade your Drinking Liberally, as is our wont, and in exchange for letting us annex you, we shall buy you pitchers of your silly low-test beer tomorrow (or tonight?), anyway, Friday. BUT...

Genteel Wonkers Of The Southern Persuasion, We Shall Be Upon Thee!

Richmond! Charlotte! Charleston! Atlanta! Memphis! And maybe Little Rock! Our Wonkette Winter Wonksicle Tour traveling caravan of utter nonsense is headed for you like a Cat One hurricane (yes, we know that's the smallest) that got downgraded to a...

1000 To One Odds Our Vegas Party Sunday Will Be A Rocking Good Time

San Francisco, did you know you've been added to the Wonkette Wonkebago Fall 2015 Itinerant Panhandling Tour and Grifterthon? Las Vegas, join us Sunday (tomorrow? today?), Oct. 25, at the Summerlin, Nevada, home of Wonkers Frances and Don, and...

Hello, Los Angeles. Won’t You Buy A Girl And Her Husband And Her Official Wonkette Baby A Drink?

Los Angeles, we are to home to you! Currently? Overnighting in an alley behind Wonker Paula's Burbank craft-soap factory, and life couldn't be sweeter! (Or more clean.) Tonight you will come and sing sweet songs of home with us...
Fame and fortune except the fortune part.

Won’t You Shelter Yr Wonkette In Cleveland And Philadelphia For Convention Time Funsies?

Wonkette is comin' to the conventions, and we wanna stay at YOUR HOUSE!