Putin Is Watching You Masturbate. Wonkagenda For Fri., March 16, 2018

All your base are belong to Russia, someone threatened Stormy Daniels, and DJTJ gets a divorce. Your morning news brief.

Trump Just Yammering About Some Made-Up Shit. Wonkagenda For Thurs., March 15, 2018

Trump just making shit up, Congress pusses out for big money (again), and Nikki Haley says mean things to Russia. Your morning news brief.

March Goes Out With A Lamb! Wonkagenda For Wed., March 14, 2018

Conor Lamb wins, Dems release their MINORITY REPORT, and Antifa Space Soldiers!

Russia Fires Rex Tillerson. Wonkagenda For Tues., March 13, 2018.

House Republicans rush to judgment, Rex Tillerson YOU'RE FIRED, and the UK is ready to lock and load. Your morning news brief.

Trump Starts A Trade War Because He Can. Wonkagenda For Fri., March 9, 2018

Trump starts a trade war, Ryan Zinke spent $139,000 on a door, and Sarah Huckabee Sanders is in the dog house. Your morning news brief.

Storm A-Comin’. Wonkagenda For Wed., March 7, 2018

Democrats flood the Texas primaries, Gary Cohn runs from Washington, and Stormy Daniels might have some dick pics. Your morning news brief.

Robert Mueller Over-Serves Sam Nunberg. Wonkagenda For Tues., March 6, 2018

Special guest star Sam Nunberg melts down, Republicans are desperate to stop the trade war, and West Virginia teachers are STILL standing tall! Your morning news brief.

Knock Knock, Ivanka, FBI Calling! Wonkagenda For Fri., March 2, 2018

Vanky and Jared both under SO MANY 'vestigations, panicked Ben Carson trying to give his dinette money back, and White House staffers are stuck on the Trump train.

Jeff Sessions Gets Ready For War. Wonkagenda For Thurs., March 1, 2018

Trump still doesn't understand what an attorney general does, Jared Kushner offers jobs for huge bank loans, and Betsy DeVos protects the credit industry from poor students. Your morning news brief.

John Kelly Kicks Jared Kushner From Top Secret Band. Wonkagenda For Wed., Feb. 28, 2018

Jared Kushner can't play with big kids, the NSA would like to stop Russia, and Hope Hicks tells a few 'white lies.' Your morning news brief.

Looks Like Somebody’s Got A Case Of The Tuesdays! Wonkagenda For Tues., Feb. 27, 2018

Hope Hicks heads to Hill, Hannity is the voice of our generation, and NEW, MORE sex scandals by gross guys you ain't heard of ... TILL NOW!

CPAC Sets The World On Fire. Wonkagenda For Fri., Feb. 23, 2018

Mueller's losing his patience with Paul Manafort, the NRA blames everything and the kitchen sink, and Missouri's governor goes to jail. Your morning news brief.

Trump Holds After School Shooting Special. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Feb. 22, 2018

Trump becomes president (again), young people are sick of dying from pro-gun bullshit, and IL Gov. Bruce Rauner drinks diversity milk. Your morning news brief.

Gun Nuts Shoot Moral Compasses To Smithereens. Wonkagenda For Wed., Feb. 21, 2018

Local lawmakers shoot down gun control, conspiracy nuts go above and beyond, and a Dem in Kentucky wins back her state House seat. Your morning news brief.

Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor’s Gun. Wonkagenda For Mon., Feb. 19, 2018

Trump shitposts on Twitter, Republicans are running scared, and Philly's new D.A. (the civil rights lawyer one!) LOVES weed. Your morning news brief!

Senate Gives Dreamers ICE Nightmares. Wonkagenda For Friday, Feb. 16, 2018

The Senate kills the American Dream, Congress tries to ignore another mass shooting, and Trump goes out of his way to hide affairs with porn stars. Your morning news brief.